Surely you didn’t think I was actually serious?
And I can totally call you “Shirley,” right?
Surely you didn’t think I was actually serious?
And I can totally call you “Shirley,” right?
Did I forget to mention I answer most jokes seriously?
Haven’t I been called worse?
Have you?
Like what?
Wouldn’t it be a bummer if I summarized that list?
Wouldn’t that only be the case if you actually believed the slurs and denigration to be true?
Isn’t your personal sense of self esteem more resilient than that?
Doesn’t my phone think I’m in Canuckistan, which probably isn’t helping me?
Is that a thing?
Or just another weird colloquialism for Canada?
Isn’t it hard to answer some questions with more questions?
Isn’t that a good reason not to stick with overly specific or complicated questions all the time?
How was I to know?
Maybe take up a hobby learning Photoshop? Also, did I mention I think maybe Cruz isn’t the Zodiac Killer?
How can I be sure without further study?
Perhaps but what’s “the battle”?
Maybe “the battle” is just my own sudden nostalgic urge to watch old eps of GI Joe, over the arduous chore of finally doing my taxes?
Why do ferries take so goddamn long to unload?
Are they anything like airplanes lately (aka since they started charging for first piece of check-in luggage)?
Why do BBQ places smell so unbelievably wonderful that I want to live here?
isn’t because we are old and entitled to gripe about the kids?
Were there kids on the lawn I didn’t see?
Do you guys have any idea how pleasing it is to get to write an Amazon product description that includes the phrase “poop not included?”