Disgusted by dice, gamer buries them

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2006/07/24/disgusted-by-dice-ga.html

Everyone knows that with cursed dice you need to dust them with salt and then set them on fire.



Sounds like something for Shame the Dice.


My dice know that low performers get melted down, although, given last night’s rolls, I might need to break out the acetone again.


Some folks in my weekly D&D group regularly check their dice for good rolls before a game – three or four bad rolls in a row, and that die gets discarded for another.

I vividly remember one friend warning his d20 that it had to stop rolling 1’s. After three 1’s in one battle, he went downstairs. We heard a SMASH. He came back holding a hammer and the fragments of his d20. “Hey, I warned it.”


In my gaming circle we held our dice up to our mouths and said, “Billy, Billy…”

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What kind of personal protective measures do you employ while doing that? I’m not talking about the acetone(not great for brain cells, and probably nephretoxic and whatnot); but if you dissolve a bunch of unlucky dice in acetone and then evaporate the solvent you’ll be left with a sludgy residue of some-polymer-sludge and the concentrated essence of the hate and malice of the entropy gods. If you live in a world where LCK is a character stat, mere exposure to that stuff could result in substantial and permanent stat drain.

You might even risk creating a localized area where the Second Law of Thermodynamics is nullified and replaced by it’s much crueler cousin, which holds that a closed system shall always tend toward the maximally undesirable state.

When dealing with that kind of stuff it’s probably best to seal it in a teflon-lined lead cask; mark it with warding sigils and “Potion of statistical defilement”; and then hope never to see it again.


Don’t worry, I shipped the residue to the GOP headquarters right before the 2012 election!


I think that this might be a “let’s do a refresher on the first rule of demonology” situation.

“Do not call up what you cannot put down.”

All the other stuff: true names, arcane floor markings and what to make them with(virgin blood? Salt? Doped silicon powder from buried ET: The Extraterrestrial Ataria game cartridges? It gets confusing), is important but secondary.


Oh, don’t worry. I had the whole thing contained in a class 4 summoning grid during the melting and distillation process.


Glad to hear it. As Smokey Bear says: “Only you can prevent eldritch abominations!”


The vaguely-evil, probability-bending residue physical manifestation of angry entropy, and you sent it where?!

The last four years (especially the last 13 months) now make a lot more sense…

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I’m not surprised. Every D6 in the world hates me. Fuck knows why, but they do.

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