Does this former flight attendant hold the secret to mystery skyjacker DB Cooper's identity?

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2021/01/12/does-this-former-flight-attendant-hold-the-secret-to-mystery-skyjacker-db-coopers-identity.html

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saved you a click: no

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What I was going to say. She had a few minutes with someone she’d never met before under very stressful circumstances 50 years ago. The FBI pumped the well dry shortly after the incident, so for chrissakes, leave the poor old lady alone. This former flight attendant does not hold the secret to mystery skyjacker DB Cooper’s identity.

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Unless she is DB Cooper.

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If she is DB Cooper, then she somehow simultaneously jumped out of the plane and yet stayed on the plane at the same time. Which is a trick so good you could make a lot more than a measly $200,000 doing it in front of an audience.

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DB cooper is dead. He almost certainly died on the parachute ride to the ground or shortly after.

Exposure on a mountain in the winter, wearing just a light buainess suit with no supplies.

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I’ve always maintained that an alien spaceship came by just as Cooper jumped out of the plane, and then used their super-effective tractor beam to pluck him out of the sky into their ship. This explains so much, like why no remains were ever found. The government knows this is the logical explanation and yet they hide the information because they know that lizard people occupy the highest executive levels and they don’t want that to become known.

Prove me wrong!

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Is DB Cooper a time traveling Mark Zuckerberg??? Or wait, is Mark Zuckerberg DB Cooper???

Some people don’t understand, if you don’t have answers for them it doesn’t mean you DO have answers and are just keeping them secret. “I told you, I don’t know” isn’t “I’m not telling.”

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She should announce on April 1st that she knows who he is and she’s been in contact with him for decades.

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This. Additionally, the $200,000 went unspent. They were looking for the serial numbers and it never turned up. It’s an unsatisfying story, people want there to be a grand narrative, but there just isn’t one.

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Yeah it turns out that in the real world, impossible odds are impossible.

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“I imagine the aging stewardess sitting on her sofa in her living room listening to her answering machine…” Yes yes, condescending imaginings are always the best way to get interviews with reticent subjects. Honestly, no one says “stewardess” anymore.

That wasn’t a tractor beam, it was the Bifrost bridge!

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Didn’t they find a bunch of the cash in a riverbed?

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Ha! I had to look that one up. Now there are two equally plausible explanations for the disappearance.

Yes, they found some of it abandoned in the woods, which just adds to the idea that Cooper never made it. The cash was dropped or abandoned, not spent and the wilderness claimed a body that’s unlikely to be found.

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We know the stairs were lowered but there isn’t much evidence of an actual parachute jump.

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Sasquatch confided in me that your hypothesis was accurate while we were developing our clean coal technology start up.

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