Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/03/09/driver-beats-drunk-driving-tes.html
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Ah, okay. The pull-over was real, but the sobriety test was actually just an offhand joke. That was a stretch.
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In some countries juggling is a standard part of the drunk driving test.
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At the end of the video the officer say that the tail light was a pretext for the stop but the real reason was that he was giving some signs of being intoxicated (driving slower than the speed limit and a bit of weaving).
Regardless, what I came here to say was that juggling is a muscle memory thing which largely doesn’t care if you’re intoxicated as opposed to balance which does. I experimented in the past and found that I could get drunk enough that I could barely stand but could still juggle 5 balls if I had something to lean against.
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I’ll bet he’s glad now that he rushed with that fraternity. Drunk juggling is a much more useful hazing ritual to have to go through than drunk anything-else-they-make-the-pledges-do. 
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I find it kind of weird that universities have their own police forces. We have them in Canada too, but they don’t seem to have the same kind of authority that American campus police do. Here they are closer to mall cops. I guess there is a likelihood of higher crime on a university campus (lots of young males in a small area), but I still don’t understand the need for a separate force.
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Campus police in the US aren’t really separate mini-forces unto themselves, they’re local regular-duty, full-authority cops assigned to a very specific area. A college campus definitely brings a large volume of mostly young, rambunctious, semi-transient residents into a community. Since the campuses have a disproportionate population density it’s more efficient to have a small contingent of cops devoted to a campus region than it is to hire more officers overall for the wider metro area. It’s also easier and more efficient for the cops to get to know problem spots, specific people, etc. around the campus. (Anecdotally, campus cops are for the most part extremely chill, too.)
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even mr policeman likes portrait video
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He doesn’t have a broken tail light.
How different would this video be if the license plate read:
BLKJUGLR (i know, 1 too many characters…this is hypothetical, get over it)
JUGGALO
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Hmm. I once learned that I could juggle 5 balls for 20 throws with up to 10 beers inside me. I don’t even know how much alcohol I’d have to drink before having trouble with 3 clubs. Juggling is probably not a good inebriation test.
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s’truth.
I still can’t do a proper 5 ball juggle sober, but 3. I have been can’t walk straight drunk but could do a basic 3 ball cascade easy. No tricks though.
One festival at the party there was a guy who would drink 2 beers juggle 5 clubs, drink 2 beers, etc. His record was like 12 beers maybe more before he couldn’t do that anymore.
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Years ago I got pulled over for what the cop said was running a red light. He let me argue against that idea for five minutes and eventually let me off with a warning.
As a 16 year old man, I got pulled over leaving the parking lot containing the fountain I’d just soaped. Cops asked me about the case of dishsoap I had in the back seat and I told them I needed it to wash my hands for work (as opposed to a night of soaping fountains). They let me off.
Headed home after a night on the town, my buddy got pulled over on I-95 because he was driving aggressively (around 2am). Cops smelled alcohol on his breath, saw me in the passenger seat and asked if I’d been drinking. Being not quite as drunk as my friend, but still drunk, I said something like, “uh…no more than five beers”. Cops “escorted” us to the exit closest to where we lived.
Way long time ago, I lightly crashed a motorcycle I was riding (slipped on sand, ran off the road, laid the bike on its side in grass). Cops see me righting the bike in the swale and offer me a ride home since the bike won’t start. They: didn’t ask me if it was my m/c (it wasn’t–it was my friend’s); didn’t ask for proof of registration or insurance (I didn’t have any although the bike was legal); didn’t ask for my license or proof that I had a m/c license (I didn’t); did give me a ride home and delightful conversation on the way.
I’m a white male. I’ve gotten pulled over quite a few times during my driving life, and I’ve gotten nailed with speeding tickets or tickets for stupid shit I was doing. Cops were usually cordial, often clipped, and occasionally assholish, although there were definitely some Top Tier Assholes (Officer Lavelle, I’m looking at you, ya useless waste of oxygen).
But I’m alive and not in jail, and every time I see a “pull over” video now, I cringe if the person is ‘of color’ and I relax if the person is white because I pretty much know how those two interactions will go. And that’s a horrible godamn thing.
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If you get pulled over, slip into your story “second job” – going to there, coming from there, whatever … especially if true since cops are pretty good at detecting liars. Cops love a workin’ man.
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Just watch…but in wrecksdart’s case, he lived it
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something about this thread makes me seriously regret not doing the bare minimum to keep the accidental bss poetry thread alive…
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Worst roadside interaction I’ve ever had with the police, I got arrested (and rightly so) for removing a park bench from a ritzy country club golf course to the top of my vehicle. Very late at night. After drinking heavily. One quick point to make: the tie-down job I did on that bench? I coulda turfed the front of like ten more high schools and that bench wouldn’t have moved a millimeter. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! And despite my pointing it out, the cops did not seem very interested in this detail.
Second worst, I got pulled over for speeding in my badass classic 1970 Olds that only had lap belts (and not over-the-shoulder seatbelts as are the norm now). Cop didn’t see me wearing the lap belt, wrote me a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt (along with the speeding ticket) and then, yelling, accused me of lying about whether the car had or did not have over-the-shoulder seatbelts. Which confused me because I was sitting in the car at exactly that point, lap belt in hand.
The moment from that video that most catches my eye is where the cop is making smalltalk with the juggling gentleman. They’re not scared, they’re comfortable with him–they talk to him like an equal, a fellow citizen. Now listen to practically any videotape featuring a white cop and a person of color, and you don’t hear those little cues, of telling brief stories, sharing a laugh, deescalating the situation until the business is done. That “this won’t take but a moment sir/ma’am, and I’m not making any judgements here”. It’s shameful that PoC need to “have the talk” with their kids about Driving While Non-White and I can’t help but think about that difference every time I watch one of these videos.
Apologies for the derail because I don’t have any solutions other than suggesting that American LEOs take a long hard look at how they authoritate. Also, yay for juggling/jugglers and especially non-drunk, driving jugglers.
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I think if the plate said “JUGGALO” he would have tried to prove he wasn’t drunk by flashing his man-boobs at the officers.
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Wet t-shirt contest using Faygo?
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My story is in the same vein. I locked my girlfriend and I out of my car one night. We retrieved a metal clothes hanger from her house nearby and were frustratingly trying to hook the lock thru the door seal. (That tells you how long ago this was. The lock ‘button’ was at the top of the door panel & had a raised edge that made this insecure little trick feasible, although challenging.)
Up rolls Office Friendly & partner. I stammered out the obvious, “Uh, I locked the keys in the car.” The officer holds out his hand for the hanger. He makes 4 or 5 passes at the lock before hooking it. Pops it up. Hands me back the hanger. I say, “Thanks very much officer.” We clamber in and drive away.
Only later did it occurred to me that he never asked either of us for ID: didn’t ask to see license or registration. I chalked it up to police intuition – we weren’t acting guilty, so no suspicion or even basic questioning. But Dave Chapelle’s comedy makes me think otherwise now. I may not exactly be his friend “Chip”, but I’m wearing the uniform.
So thank you Dave C for opening up my eyes a little. And thank you all the Officer Friendly’s out there.
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