Dude Wipes just created the best poop-themed, toilet-based TV ad in history

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OK, now you have my attention, undivided and complete!

Love the extra little splatter sprays.
It’s those subtle touches that make it art.

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YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU! JUST WON THE INTERNET!!!

(With a little help from DudeWipes™.)

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Hands down the most fecetious commercial I’ve ever seen.

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I love when comedy is this subtle, like savoring a fine wine…

And then getting blackout drunk and shitting your pants.

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I’d want some hard and fast proof on their septic-safe claim. Getting a cleaner asshole isn’t worth the $10,000 cost for a new tank.

Most wipes aren’t actually sewer-disposable (based on their biodegradation period) regardless of the marketing claims – remember London’s 15 ton ball of fat and wipes?

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NYC has a big problem with wipes clogging things up, too:

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This is pretty good and gets major points for brevity. But I’m not sure if it quite edges out the original Poo Pourri spot in the rankings:

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It’s all fun and games* until your grinder pump wears out 2 years earlier than expected. The guy comes out to replace it (on a Sunday, at Sunday rates). Floating at the top of the pit, just out-of-reach of the grinder, but taking up volume and causing the pump to run more often, is a congealed ball of every single so-called “flushable wipe” that had accumulated over the course of raising two children.

*Assumes that Dude Wipes and Kandoo are essentially the same material

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Soft cotton? More like ponce wipes.
40 grit should wipe out the most stubborn dingle berries.

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I don’t get the whole wet wipes thing. Just wet some toilet paper. Even if you don’t have a tap available, you can just lightly press the flush and get some clean water as it goes into the bowl.

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Oh jeeze.


Stubborn clingers getting you low? Try our 40-Grit PowerScour.

Remember: if the matter’s both fecal and tenacious, trade wiping for scouring for a Rasped-Raw™ clean.

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Ya only need to use it long enough to build up a callouse that is capable of repelling the most stubborn stains.

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  1. Why is what I presume to be the anus up near where the sacrum should be?

  2. How are these any different than the other disposable wipes already on the market? Packaging has to be grey or black or men won’t use it?

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  1. What the hell was that at the end, the prostate?
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I thought that was his anus.

Apparently these “flushable wipes” are not actually flushable and play havoc with sewer systems and waste treatment plants. Just sayin’.

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Apparently this is this guy’s work. Whoever he is.

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