Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/01/30/elon-musk-implants-neuralink-brain-chip-into-a-human-person.html
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*according to Elon Musk, who has never made an outrageous claim before, so let’s just run the story using a single source/tweet
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Hopefully the employees at Neuralink are competent and hopefully Musk doesn’t force their hand much or at all. This sort of technology could be amazing for folks with TBI or strokes. As much fun as it is to watch Billionaires fail and lose money and as creepy as this technology can seem, I really hope for the sake of people suffering brain injuries that this produces something useful.
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“no monkey has died as a result of a Neuralink implant.”
Boy, that really sets my mind at ease.
The question is, will Musk charge extra for the remote control when the brain chip hits the market…
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WTF is a terminal monkey? They were going to die anyway? That kinda negates the “thing didn’t kill the monkey” argument.
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(source)
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“I didn’t punch the monkey in the face and nobody called the police”
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At first I was excited and hoped Musk himself was the test subject for this totally safe procedure.
Then I realized he said “human”. Now I am just disappointed.
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What are the odds they started with healthy subjects and made sure they were ‘terminal’ before implantation?
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Given Musk’s colossal failure with Twitter/X and the problems and recalls he’s been having with Tesla, it’s amazing he found someone willing to let him put one of his gadgets in their brain.
Given his frothing supporters on Twitter, I wouldn’t be surprised if there weren’t queues round the block, even if they said the work would be done by the same people who give the Cybertruck its - erm - unique fit and finish.
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There have been published studies of researchers having electrodes planted in their own brains, which I’m kinda ok with. But in a world full of broke people, giving this company permission to pay someone to insert dangerous chips into their brain is unconscionable.
Best case scenario, these chips only cause permanent scar tissue in the brain. Implanting involves exposing brains to potentially lethal infections that are very hard to treat, and Neuralink has a record of bad surgeries and electrical bugs that cause overheating damage to the brain. There is no way the FDA should have approved this
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“Human person”
huh?
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I have a cousin who suffered severe neurological damage in a swimming pool accident that cost him most of his motor function, sight and ability to communicate clearly. My aunt has been talking about how hopeful she is that the Neuralink chip will help him recover some of his lost function. So I see how a person who desperately needs the kind of benefits Neuralink promises to deliver would get caught up in the hype, but I’m not nearly so optimistic.
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Now with ads!
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China Plans to Take on Elon Musk’s Neuralink in 2025
Musk has a big rival in the battle to insert a computer chip in your brain.The race to implant smartphone technology directly into your brain stem heated up when Neuralink implanted a chip into its first human brain on Sunday. To rival this new step in technology, China set a timeline to develop its own “brain-computer interface” on Monday with products arriving as early as 2025.
China lists a “brain-computer interface” as one of its “innovative iconic products,” according to a translated press release on Monday. In the next several years, the country aims to “make breakthroughs in key technologies and core devices such as brain-computer fusion, brain-like chips, and brain-computing neural models,” said China’s Ministry of Industry and Information Technology.
“implant smartphone technology” …egads, the horror end plot point (uhoh do i need a spoiler conceal?) straight out of the scifi/satire The President’s Analyst c1967
So it’s musk in a race with themthere commies, how will the conspiracy nuts blast this off to planet stupid when it’s potentially starting from there? -sigh-
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"China lists a “brain-computer interface” as one of its “innovative iconic people control products” … said China’s Ministry of
Industry and Information Technology.Population Control and Coercion.
(The translators of this press release need some lessons in basic communist Chinese.)
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