Endure exploding natural gas well, earn free pizza! (Some restrictions apply)


#1

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#2

(There's nothing here really specific to fracking techniques, from what I can tell.)

Location of the well relative to explosion sensitive receptors like human beings, is very much part of the technique.


#3

Since one man is dead I'm not sure it's technically accurate that they "really flubbed the execution".

The gift certificate's expiration date of May 1, 2014 is a nice touch, though. "Sorry a loved one was killed or you were injured! You have less than two months to claim your compensation!"


#4

I should note that this was sent to members of the community nearby the well, not what Chevron sent to the family of the dead man.


#5

Bobtown? Really America, please do better.


#6

In related news, Chevron board of directors awards Regional Manager - Pennsylvania the Medal of Petroleum.


#7

Well's Fargo uses meat apologies. After they mangled my refinance, I got a nice apology letter with a color brochure (customized for Well's Fargo) of gourmet meats to choose from. "Sorry we screwed you, enjoy some meat."


#8

Maybe it's good enough for those Appalachians...
(sarcasm)


#9

In that context, it seems more reasonable. Somehow, "Sorry we blew up some shit near your town, have a pizza" doesn't work as well.


#10

Well, with so many farms foreclosed upon or cattle/pigs destroyed by human pollution activity, it's rather convenient to use meat apologies, don't you think?


#11

Let them eat cake, er, pie... pizza pie.


#12

I guess it's slightly better than using either May 4 or April 1 though.


#13

If you've ever lived in a small town, you ought to know that there's not much in the way of local resources to draw on as consolation material. Maybe two gas stations, a small grocer and one or two restaurants. In this case, obviously a pizza place. Being that all but one family endured only a distant thud, it seems adequate.


#14

What would be appropriate, I wonder, a selection of barbequed meats?


#15

Could someone photoshop in a gas explosion next to pizza doge?


#16

This is AWESOME!! SRSLY!! Now the town folks can pool their coupons together and buy a new acquifer!!


#17

Bottomless refills from the drinks fountain!


#18

They're just like one of those cheap-ass friends who promises to buy you pizza for spending a whole Saturday helping him move, and then just springs for Little Caesar's.


#19


#20

Maybe it was more of a "Ha ha! We slipped you the sausage once, take your pick of which one you want this time!".