Endure exploding natural gas well, earn free pizza! (Some restrictions apply)


(There’s nothing here really specific to fracking techniques, from what I can tell.)

Location of the well relative to explosion sensitive receptors like human beings, is very much part of the technique.


Since one man is dead I’m not sure it’s technically accurate that they “really flubbed the execution”.

The gift certificate’s expiration date of May 1, 2014 is a nice touch, though. “Sorry a loved one was killed or you were injured! You have less than two months to claim your compensation!”


I should note that this was sent to members of the community nearby the well, not what Chevron sent to the family of the dead man.


Bobtown? Really America, please do better.

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In related news, Chevron board of directors awards Regional Manager - Pennsylvania the Medal of Petroleum.

Well’s Fargo uses meat apologies. After they mangled my refinance, I got a nice apology letter with a color brochure (customized for Well’s Fargo) of gourmet meats to choose from. “Sorry we screwed you, enjoy some meat.”


Maybe it’s good enough for those Appalachians…

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In that context, it seems more reasonable. Somehow, “Sorry we blew up some shit near your town, have a pizza” doesn’t work as well.


Well, with so many farms foreclosed upon or cattle/pigs destroyed by human pollution activity, it’s rather convenient to use meat apologies, don’t you think?

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Let them eat cake, er, pie… pizza pie.

I guess it’s slightly better than using either May 4 or April 1 though.

If you’ve ever lived in a small town, you ought to know that there’s not much in the way of local resources to draw on as consolation material. Maybe two gas stations, a small grocer and one or two restaurants. In this case, obviously a pizza place. Being that all but one family endured only a distant thud, it seems adequate.

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What would be appropriate, I wonder, a selection of barbequed meats?

Could someone photoshop in a gas explosion next to pizza doge?


This is AWESOME!! SRSLY!! Now the town folks can pool their coupons together and buy a new acquifer!!

Bottomless refills from the drinks fountain!

They’re just like one of those cheap-ass friends who promises to buy you pizza for spending a whole Saturday helping him move, and then just springs for Little Caesar’s.

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Maybe it was more of a “Ha ha! We slipped you the sausage once, take your pick of which one you want this time!”.