English baker caught using illegal sprinkles smuggled from the US

FWIW, the data on this are conflicting and tough to interpret. Here is a fairly decent summary of where we are.
tl;dr: Probably not a big deal, there are suggestions of small effects, if any.

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Yeah, just… not clear. In the middle of a full on rant to interject that muddies his “joke.” Clearly he’s peeved he can’t keep profiting from his unfair, illegal, competitive advantage, so the sarcasm is thin at best.

That sounds like the ramblings of a small batch boutique bakery where the chef has their degree hanging on the wall.
Baking for the masses can be delicious too. It’s about the baker, not the sprinkles.

My cellmates faces when they found out what I was in for

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Perhaps a wittier quip like “… Dear Lord, I hope we stay in business and don’t have to close shop, laying off staff.”

Indeed you did. Apologies, I was repeating the point because it’s a peeve of mine. It’s a classic example of confirmation bias and other messy thinking. No matter how much evidence you provide, nearly every parent in the world swears sugar is an amphetamine on their kid. It’s an unkillable myth.

That’s interesting and lends further credence to food dyes being the “sugar” of the UK as far as being blamed for things kids do.

As you said, it all stems from a couple of fad diet books and one or two crappy studies that went the-1970s-version of viral. Those things are impossible to kill once they are in the culture. People still think vitamin C prevents/cures colds or that a daily multivitamin is a good idea (it isn’t) for the same reason. A bunch of shitty fad diet books from the 1980s, and now we’re stuck with these misconceptions for decades.

I hope the sprinkle police have wands.

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And the extended Cake Mix featuring DJ Civil Frosting for sure.

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The illegal sprinkles were using FD&C Red No. 3, which like FD&C Red No. 40 is in basically everything in the US - food, pills, and drinks — and it really sucks if you have an allergy to it — speaking from first hand experience.

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Where oh where can I stream this grim & gritty reboot of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

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