Epitaph contest


#1

Continuing the discussion from Preventing pigsplosions:

Mutants - GO!


#2

These brave researchers have not perished in vain. Their sacrifice is a tragic milestone on a long, hard road to the most noblest of goals: a lump of pork on every fork, and a lack of deadly pigshit explosions.

With research into vat-grown GM equivalents to flesh torn off an entity an obvious dead end, and the suffering and misery of countless animals a forgone conclusion in order to satisfy our cravings, no stone must be left unturned in the quest to produce bacon as efficiently as the laws of physics allow.

Those who disparage the contribution of these most virtuous scientists, who have given their all for the cause, would do well to consider the fact that the alleged futility of this research is simply impossible, because bacon.


#3

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