Escalate!

Willy Wonka: It’s a Wonkavator. An elevator can only go up and down, but the Wonkavator can go sideways, and slantways, and longways, and backways…

Charlie Bucket: And frontways?

Willy Wonka: …and squareways, and front ways, and any other ways that you can think of.

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Gentlemen, you can’t quibble here, this is the Escalate! thread.
Dumb fucks.

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Cheer up – I’m sure with your fancy new fedora you’ll get laid any day now…

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Oh, I see you’ve moved on to modern “music”:

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Well, given that you’re secretly a Taylor Swift fan, how would you know what constitutes music?

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Funny, your girlfriend had no trouble. (Oops, guess I should say ex-girlfriend now.)

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That’s a trilby. It’s a whole meme, ffs.

Hey, isn’t that @dave_b’s ex-girlfriend? Why did they break up, anyway?

Oh, right. He kept airing their problems in inappropriate threads.

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Oh, it’s no secret that I am a fan of music made by bands founded within the last 3 decades.

How’s that Glen Miller thesis if yours coming along?

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Taylor Swift is a band now? Granted, lots of handlers, Max Martin doing the “heavy lifting” musically these days. When did you become such an art school sell out? Did dressing up in papier mâché costumes and urinating on television sets not work out for you?

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That’s soooooooooo cute - you actually think Taylor Swift plays all of the instruments herself! Aren’t you a precious little snowflake!

I’ll let you in on a little secret that will blow your mind - Mickey Mouse isn’t a real mouse!

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You’re apparently having a reading comprehension problem. What did you not get about the Max Martin comment? Nobody plays the instruments now.

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https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/Translation:Catullus_16

'nuff said.

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Yes she mentioned she was borrowing the microscope.

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Oh, just fine… how about you give me an interview for me to use, as you were there when the guy was big, yeah?

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This is supposed to be the Escalate thread – that’s so much weak sauce I thought we were in the catsup thread.

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We needed to check your condoms for deterioration. Most of them were way past their expiry date.

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@OtherMichael has done the impossible by being right for a change: the insults in this thread are so weak even homeopaths wouldn’t use them.

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I tend to agree, but I think there is a good explanation rooted in BoingBoing culture and the sort of commenters it attracts.

Oh in the name of the motherfucking FSM! I can’t believe anyone, even you, could be so fucking stupid as to click on a spoiler in this thread. What the fuck did you think you were going to find - a scholarly analysis of the dynamics of this pathetic shitshow? The answer to the mysteries of the fucking universe? With such a herd of brain-damaged troglodytes it’s no surprise no one has contributed anything but the odd puddle of drool. Stop posting before you make us all puke. IN-FUCKING-VECTIVE, MORONS! LOOK IT UP!

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