Extreme bass in car stereos trigger orgasms?

This phenomenon may have precedent…where are Tigra, and Bunny, now that we need them?


Damn you, Betteridge! The answer’s nooooo! sob


I think I heard the brown note somewhere in there…


I mean I guess we could put some speakers on it

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Ah, so the old “sitting on the washing machine” thing?

To mess with heads even further:


Pretty sure it’s a function of the nerve ending density and the wavelength, along with the inertia and elasticity of the tissues… same reason vibrators don’t do much for guys.

Ripped off.

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It’s nice to see one of the worst songs ever made finally finding a purpose in life aside from sucking.

Of course, there still hasn’t been any purpose for Pound On My Muffin except to mock it.

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Was this music you were using in your experiments or a frequency generator?


Everyone knows that it’s the 808 kick drum that makes the girlies get dumb

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Yeah with Kari, right? :wink:

OK, I need a better sub(woofer) to get attractive women. :wink:

Is there a difference?

Was this music you were using in your experiments or a frequency generator?

Very much both and much more - and this is my unsolicited story.

From the 90’s to the 2000’s a combination of many things including cellsynth (which I don’t think is available nowadays), Rebirth (again, I think discontinued as far as updates go), Metasynth, Propellerhead stuff like Reason and and Recycle, all lot of Native Instruments software where I’d go nuts with my own samples with LFOs, assorted guitar pedals, electric guitar with a custom dropped tuning, a Marshall amp (valvestate with tube) hooked up to a huge subwoofer and miked to a powerful amp where I could adjust from there and then later tweak on computer as well, a large speaker half-submerged in water that I’d mic.

I also used my drop-tuned Sitar with transducers (via Buckingham music) plugged into the Marshall amp and miked to and through all of the above for the most part either directly or via samples… it goes on and on…

I also took samples from an approximately 80 foot long concrete hexagon-shaped tunnel located down next to the James River approximately 7-8 feet high that was only about 6 feet or so under train tracks and would record the train as it vibrated the ground above and the entire tunnel. It created bass that’s honestly hard to describe when it’s live. It was extremely difficult to record, but I managed on occasion to get OK samples and I imported/utilized those samples into some of the tools I mentioned in the first paragraph above and messed with it from there.

In between trains, I’d have a bass drum from a drum kit in there I could beat and that would create amazing bass in the tunnel as well. There was other smaller drums from a drum kit, but the bass drum was my favorite especially since I was able to hit it once very hard then apply pressure to the thing (lean my body into it) and warp the wood enclosure to bend the pitch or whatever as the bass sound rang out with massive sustain throughout the tunnel. One hit in the octagon tunnel could last 30-40 seconds and depending on the angle, position and other factors, it could ring out for minutes.

The tunnel also functioned as a giant bass tube that if you wacked the shit out of the large bass drum at one end it would shoot out of the other end of the tunnel and hit a small, nearby, upstream hillside and bounce back. Often I’d bring almost all the stuff from the first paragraph in there too like the sitar and the Marshall app along with sustain and digital delay pedals hooked up and let that shit rip in there.

I parked my car some distance away and used tons of electrical cord winding down from a power inverter hooked up to my idling car for power in the tunnel. The tunnel often had water running along the bottom of it so that added to the already intense echo effect for vibrating bass that made my soul shake. A select few friends often joined me in the tunnel, including one with a stand-up bass in there which was pretty dumb (but awesome) considering it was an extremely expensive stand-up bass susceptive to moisture damage in that dank, watery tunnel.

I should mention I had “special access” to places throughout Virginia via redacted for shooting films. In other words, I had a permit of sorts to use the tunnel at night but I can’t go into details about how/why here.

I’d purchased menorah candles by the box and had hundreds of them. We’d line them down both dry, left and right edges of the tunnel from end to end of the tunnel which had a great parallax effect going down the very straight tunnel. On the very ends of the tunnel, I’d place a bunch of those tall, circular glass containers filled with wax so they withstood the wind better on the ends. Something very strange happened to one of those candles one night that only two of some of my friends that went there that particular night and myself witnessed. Well, you know what they say… there’s no atheists in the foxhole, so to speak.

My friend just calmly pointed it out which made it even more freaky. She just pointed to it and my other friend and myself walked over and saw it and kind of went into zen mode (I think just to be able to mentally handle it).

It’s kind of like what I guess I would do if I was watching the evening news and they suddenly broke in and said we’ve been visited by aliens and they’re now here on Earth and we’re negotiating with them or whatever. I’d just go into… a state. Just to be able to comprehend what’s happening without losing my shit. It was kind of like that on a less intense scale, but intense nonetheless.

The only people that’ll ever believe what happened is just us three and maybe a few that weren’t there that night, but had witnessed some other strange synchronicities and timing (and literal position) of things (animals, insects, animals sounds, etc.) that you… just… can’t… explain away.

There was also various animals that’d chime in on occasion (birds, big cranes, frogs, etc.) and some “timing stuff” happened with that, but I can’t really tell you about it because you’d think I was insane, lying or both. Actually, if it wasn’t for the others joining me in the tunnel when those things happened who also acknowledged and freaked out about it, I would almost chock it up to sensory deprivation in the tunnel and myself going a bit nuts. But, those things happened and it was, well… magical (and spooky).

Ok, I’ll say one stupid, drunken thing that happened, but it’s more silly than anything else. It was just two of us in the tunnel with the setup and I’m jamming out on guitar and he stops playing his stuff and comes up to me and says, “You’re on fire”.

I kind of just nod like, “…yeah, dude…” and keep jamming.

He then looks at me more urgently, waves his hands to get my attention, points to my right side and says, “No, man! You’re literally on fire! Look!”

I then look and my guitar strap had been laying on top of a menorah candle and was flaming up the side of my body. Next thing I know I’m shaking fire off of myself like the guy in Spinal Tap in an echo-y tunnel freaking out down by the river.

The damn, cheap strap was made of nylon so it was melting and tossing flaming bits everywhere as I shook it while I’m trying to get the shit off of my ass. It burned/melted through the middle and snapped, so I was able to pull the guitar away from me (rather frantically) and I stomped out the nylon strap while getting all the melty, nylon shit stuck to the bottom of my shoes and still burning. That night was a little less magical and a bit more comical. I was luckily I wasn’t seriously burned.

Anyway, back to the second floor of the house…

The song called “Tough Love, Soft Hate” was one that particularly caused some of the most serious crotchal tingling action while a neighbor was recording voice samples for me. That’s when I really knew I was on to something.

Ah, and let’s not forget James Earl Jones voiceovers for Darth Vader slowed down combined with a jug of shaking water slowed down until it sounds like it’s noises deep beneath the ocean.

I’d also mix his voiceover work for Verizon with his Darth Vader stuff for some comic effects.

Congas played the right way slowed down can be interesting as well so had those things in the studio (my top of a house) along with disco ball lights, lava lamps and a bunch of other stuff that left all my musical equipment buzzing with electric energy when I had it all on at once.

For example, I could just sit the guitar or sitar down while hooked up to a bunch of shit I mentioned above and they’d start doing weird shit all on their own with feedback, etc. provoked from all the electrical waves in the air. Somewhere along the line after screwing with the wiring on one of my guitars combined with the marshall setup, I could pick up radio stations through the guitar if I positioned it in certain ways and that would just mix in with everything else. There was more software heavily used, but you get the gist. It was insanity, but I enjoyed it.

There might have been some drugs involved. (None of the hard stuff, really)

P.S. I think the tunnel was down here past the fence. From the arial view it looks like they sadly cleared away a lot of the woods downstream of the tunnel and I’m not even sure if the stream is still there or not. Probably where Reedy Creek goes under the RR tracks here.

I haven’t lived near that part of the country in many years and haven’t had the chance to go back to the tunnel during visits to the area, but if my memory serves correct that’s the spot. I had forgotten it was twin tunnels (until looking at the picts below) but at the time the one on the right in these pictures was clogged up with a bunch of flotsam, dirt, tree limbs, growth, (probably snakes) etc. so I only used the tunnel on the left.

This is the end of the tunnel where the creek spills out and heads down to the James River:

Main page: http://www.conradstoltz.com/index.php/xterra-richmond-2014/ (scroll down to part where the bikes are crossing a creek and you’ll see parts of the tunnels on the left in the picts)

Or view them here (far left you can see the edge) and here (barely see tunnel on left used). If this is the correct location, it looks like the many years of water flow has significantly worn down the bottom edges and it’s no longer as much of a hexagon. It looks more rounded, but I cannot remember if it was just that way on the ends or not.

Edit: Found it here (and confirmed the pictures and locations above are correct)

This is what the forward arrow looks like that you’ll follow below with 7 clicks:

After virtual tour link above loads, click the forward arrow exactly 7 times and it will take you to being in the middle of the Reedy Creek here:

Scene Elevation: 169’
Scene Latitude: 37.52429859888351
Scene Longitude: -77.4696379441803

Stop there and pan the virtual tour (look right) and you’ll see one end of the tunnel (you can zoom in for a closer look). Wow, technology is amazing. To actually get a remote shot of the obscure tunnel from here in Colorado after all these years. :smiley:

To zoom in and out of the virtual tour press the A key and Z key on your keyboard:

So, yeah, that tunnel was one of the “instruments” and a sort of frequency generator as well especially while it was train powered. My only regret is I was never in there recording during a thunderstorm, but then again, flash floods tend to kill and I would have just ended up washing out of the dark end there like a dead possum in the night… :wink:


Funny I heard it killed sperm cells?

We can only hope. :wink:

That was a brilliantly entertaining story. That’s some xtreme sampling. You may be interested in playing around with PaulStretch if you haven’t already.

Look at that Open-Source goodness. I’ve been using ASD and warping in other apps, but not PaulStretch. Getting it now! Thank you for the tip! Your PaulStretch suggestion looks vastly better.

I heard about it after the infamous tale of Photon Wave Orchestra’s ‘Echoes across the astral wastelands’. Here and here. (May even have featured on BB). The track itself is worth a listen. It’s a truly epic piece.

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