Facebook Dating launches because nothing matters

Hmm, too bad about that Butlerian Jihad. It would have been so much easier for the Bene Gesserit to run a rigged dating site.

Your match is :star2: Gom Jabbar Certified!

15 Likes

There’s no way this doesn’t (eventually) turn into a flaming disaster. At which point it’ll just be a matter of how many people have ended up dead as a result, because they’re absolutely getting information that could get some people killed in some countries.

9 Likes

AHAHAHHA. So let me get this right: this is the platform that, right now, if I post something highly specific & with a clear emotional valence like “Fuck craft beer and embroidery” will scrape that and automagically add “Craft beer” and “Embroidery” to my “interests” in its ad settings. And it wants to hook me up with other people interested in same? Genius!

(Actually, one of my genuine comforts about FB is that it gets my actual interests so tragically, algorithmically wrong. They think they know me, but they very much do not.)

16 Likes

…or it’ll hook you up with someone whose fetish is literally fucking craft beers.
(and I don’t even want to imagine what it’ll do with the embroidery information…)

7 Likes

Please. Just. Stop.
Just. Make. It. Stop.

2 Likes

What are you saying? Because I mainly have relatives on Facebook. Now I will admit I grew up in a rather rural area, but it’s not THAT rural.

8 Likes

But like the original Data, his understanding is still just an approximation.

1 Like

Oh just wait. For now, opt-in. But soon an update will “accidentally” enable it for a billion people.

Which is odd because it will turn Facebook finally into what Myspace unofficially was.

3 Likes

horrendous.

3 Likes

Crush people secretly? Oh, man, there are a few people I’d like to anonymously pulverise.

4 Likes

or we could go back to having one-on-one conversations on landline telephones

hard to believe that medium was so popular for so long and then people just stopped using it

7 Likes

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

2 Likes

“Matches between users who opt in to Facebook Dating will be suggested by the algorithm based on users’ preferences, interests, and activity within Facebook and Instagram.”

Sounds like a breeding programme for mindless, easy to lead consumers minions.

4 Likes

“Matches” sounds like a good old throwdown in the octagon.

2 Likes

Our next-door neighbour, whom we have known for decades, decided to get rid of their landline. So, when they were abroad, and their son lost his mobile phone, they had no way of contacting him but to phone us, next door. Don’t get rid of your landline just yet.

2 Likes

Never have I been prouder of my commitment to dying alone.

9 Likes

Only if they clear out the telemarketers and scammers.

Really, e-mail and texts and the occasional voice call do fine for keeping up with my personal social network. The only platform I’m on is LinkedIn, and I check that once a month at most.

4 Likes

Pathetic. They couldn’t even figure out to call it “fuckbook”.

3 Likes

FaceFuck?

2 Likes

I dunno… seems like an insult to Data… :wink:

4 Likes