My take-away on this story is that the retail mark-up on giant dicks is also enormous.
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Well, like diamonds, the bigger they are the rarer they are. Unlike diamonds, their rating on the hardness scale varies a great deal.
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All kidding aside, my guess is that there are two possibilities:
- It was stolen on a dare, or a bet. Once the conditions are met, the stolen thingy will end up somewhere in the desert or in a landfill.
- It was stolen for use in an upcoming practical joke. The victim either won’t know the perpetrator, or can be trusted not to run to the cops.
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“Attention all officers, be on the lookout for a caucasian male, mid 30s-40s, approximately six feet tall with a three foot penis.”
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Clearly you haven’t heard of the gilf cam.
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Well…since nobody else has said it:
Christ, what an asshole.
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TBH, I don’t want to know who would buy a 3 foot dildo.
You’re implying that he intended to beat off Ted Cassidy?
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He’d need a trebuchet for that monster.
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We’ve all been there but that doesn’t mean we still go for it…
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Terminal horizon?
At what point does it stop being a dildo and become a statue of a dildo?
You know what? Never mind.
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Now there’s a maker project!
And a band name.
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Direct action, hopefully.
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Maybe he is going to use it to carve out many smaller dildo’s and sell them at a massive mark-up.
Or, his significant other is an orca?
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Well, like diamonds, they are also cut or uncut, and can benefit from polishing.
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There’s only room for one massive dick in this presidency.
…
Bring it in through the rear.
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That would make this horrible year so much better…
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Clearly he’s getting prepared for when Trump gets himself added to Mount Rushmore…
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