Fake Country Names


Continuing the discussion from Boston school district switches to a more accurate world map, blows kids' minds:

Following comments made about the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, I thought I’d fork this into a game.

Make up a funny name for a country.

That’s it! I’ll start.


I live near it, and it’s beautiful if not a little walled off.



It’s capital city is generally known as West East Palo Alto.


Stanialand. Capital is Burgvilletown.


Glorious People’s Socialist Republic of Minnesota. The capital city is St. Paul.


CHOLERa, next to IREland.

Uanpar, next to Myanmar.

The Oleaginous Islands, next to Grease Greece. Unctua City is its capital.

Sealand. Oxymoron, or just expanding its territorial border?

Lana. A tiny country between two oceans. The Lana Canal exists to permit marine vessels to pass through in either direction, rather than travel to the southernmost or northernmost tip of the continental landmass.


Mar-a-Lago, Dumbfucktopia.



It borders the Czech Republic, Liechtenstein, and Belgium, and the region has been the subject of numerous territorial disputes because none of its neighbors want it. It’s joked that the country’s name comes from the fact that it’s the only country that you can spit over.

Actually I made this country up years ago for an adventure involving the questionable superhero Asbestos Man. He had to rescue the Salivian ambassador who’d been kidnapped by a former English teacher turned supervillain and I’ve said too much already.


The Middle East nations Onan and Semen.

The Patriarchal European Principality of Leckmeinschaft.



Where everyone is “thick fingered.”



Capital: Your-Name-Here-for-only-five-easy-payments…


Delusia. A small island initially purchased by a group of investors to be a model country run like a business.

It has six capitals, none of which are recognised by the others. It has been quarantined by the WHO after an H1N1 outbreak got a foothold and wiped out 70% of the population who could afford neither the vaccine or medical care. The remaining population had a civil war shortly after, as no one wanted to join the “working class” to support the “job creator class”. The losers, it was discovered, didn’t know how to do the jobs anyway.

Those six capitals belong to the remaining six families. They regularly scrape together money to buy small classified ads online (someone has to sneak over to another country that still has infrastructure) looking for “godfearing women or families” offering free citizenship. Few ever answer.

Delusia, long bankrupt, is expected to lose its last citizen in forty years. After another thousand, it may be habitable again.




When I saw “fake country names” I was thinking along the lines of Bubba Hogsquealer


Vulvaria, which wants nothing to do with those thick-fingered Vulgarians.



They have all the jobs and civil liberties.


How about “America” - for those who like to fantasize that their real little country speaks for an entire hemisphere? It’s cheaper and easier to pretend that you already have such outsized territory and influence!


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