FDA: infusing young people's blood will not improve your health

#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/02/19/vampire-capitalism.html

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#2

You know what this means?
Correct. Someone who is really fond of blood-based rejuvenation cures will lobby for replacing the Commissioner of Food and Drugs.

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#3

blood

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#4

No young blood huh?

OK, what’s your position on aborted fetus stir-fry then?

#5

If you have any rare, blood borne disease that is not tested for, please volunteer to donate blood to these companies.

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#6

[Throws out all my recently printed flyers]

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#7

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/ebcf7f55-ad6c-429a-848b-f00d543755e1

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#8

“Clinics” that offer plasma advertise that it is taken from children as young as 16 and charge as much as $8000 for a “treatment.”

See, there’s your problem. Cut out the middleman. My own son’s blood has kept me spry for years, although he’s getting a little long in the tooth, so I’ve told his girlfriend it’s spawning time.

Thanks, FDA. Don’t let word of this get out or there will be a run on children.

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#9

Obligs. Remember, capitalism is vampirism.

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#10

Where is this blood coming from? Red Cross says you must be 16 to donate legally. So either they are lying-fraud or they are committing assault to get the blood. Seems like more than a warning is called for.

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#11

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#12

I welcome our rich people disease vector monitoring system.

Someone needs to act as the first line of defense against the next prion disease.

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#13

According to the quote from the company, “young donors, who are in the age range of 16 to 25 … in Phoenix, Los Angeles, Tampa, Omaha and Houston”. Or in other words, meth addicts. And this blood is presumably being screened by the same company. So enjoy your hepatitis B infusion!

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#14

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/80e4533c-cdb5-462e-8c5d-627f40daf098

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#15

Balderdash! As I tell my grandchildren, and my great-grandchildren, there is no way a silly little shot of plasma is going to give the pep and get-up-and-go that a good pair of goat glands will. It’s just not scientific.

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#16

Oh. Stand down.

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#17

“Thereupon He Proves It by Leaping Friskily from Chair”

I’m convinced!

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#18

FDA: infusing young people’s blood will not improve your health

Yeah, that’s just the sort of thing a group of vampires would say who want all the blood for themselves.

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#19

MMM… plasma

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#20

So how many of these $8000 treatments would this hypothetical 30-year-old have to undergo to regain the youthful vigor of a 25-year-old?

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