Five reasons to avoid a colon cleanse




No shit!


Anyone requiring a list of reasons in order to be talked out of it is already in a bad place.


Not only does mass murdering your microbiome leave all your tasty nutrients for the baddies to flourish on, there’s also a lot of critical metabolism that happens in your large intestine. It’s the final place where digestion and absorption happens. The colon itself doesn’t have many of it’s own enzymes to break down foods, but the incredibly rich resident bacteria there have an amazing array of unique enzymes to break down some pretty complex stuff, allowing your large intestine to get some pretty critical last bites in. Your gastrointestinal microbiome is the gift you receive on your very first feeding as an infant, it should be cherished, not sanitized.


But coffee enemas are still good, right?


I just assumed that nobody actually believed any of the health claims about the colon cleansing. I figured that everyone who goes in for that are really just interested in experimenting with some butt stuff and want to be able to justify to themselves (or or anyone who ever asks about it) that it was just something they did for medicinal reasons. If it has a health claim that can be made to sound sort of science-y, you’re not gay or a pervert or a deviant or into something that you’d prefer to not see yourself as the kind of person who likes that sort of thing.


Maybe in some cases, but people really do this because they think it’s a “cleanse”. I have a long term (and now long distance) friend who does this regularly. She also has huge gastro-intestinal issues. She has the cause and effect backwards in her mind, unfortunately.


From the Steve Martin movie LA Story:


These aren’t people with a lot of knowledge of human biology, it’s the crowd who think that John Wayne “died with 30 lbs of undigested meat in his colon”.


Hot dog champs might chew through what… two, three pounds, tops?


Boy howdy! You have way more faith in human reasonableness than is actually warranted.


Sounds like she needs to get her head and her ass wired together.


The one thing that convinced me that it was a bad idea was watching the hour-long infomercial for “Dual Action Cleanse” pills, pushed by a guy with greased back hair, and a pencil thin mustache-- he’s like the perfect mental image of a huckster.


The “look at all the toxins that just came out of someone’s butt” images would have been enough had I already not known they were a sad trick.


Look at the amount of toxins coming out of this person in this detox foot bath! It’s totally not rust coming from electrolysis of the metal contacts.


How else am I supposed to get rid of all the bubble gum that I swallow?


You’re just going to have to wait seven years like everyone else.


Butt-bubbles. :slight_smile:


Soaking in the irony


Did anybody who tried that get an idea to try it without the feet in the bath?