Florida Man crowned winner of 2015 Ernest Hemingway lookalike contest


#1

[Read the post]


#2

I’m sure there is a Carl Hiassen (or possibly one of his imitators) story in which this competition features. I didn’t realise it was real, but then the more I read about Florida, the more it seems like Hiassen et al simply write historical fiction of a sort.


#3

Summer in July Santa parade?


#4

Ah, but does he carry a Thompson submachine-gun to unload on any sharks that come near his catch?


#5

Nice, Florida Man finally caught a break: http://mashable.com/2014/11/29/crazy-florida-headlines/


#6

I’d squish it.


#8

haha, the “running of the hemingways” shot made me honestly laugh out loud.


#9

Florida Man, Florida Man…

He remembered the time he had hooked one of a pair of marlin. The male fish always let the female fish feed first and the hooked fish, the female, made a wild, panic-stricken, despairing fight that soon exhausted her, and all the time the male had stayed with her, crossing the line and circling with her on the surface. He had stayed so close that the old man was afraid he would cut the line with his tail which was sharp as a scythe and almost of that size and shape. When the old man had gaffed her and clubbed her, holding the rapier bill with its sandpaper edge and clubbing her across the top of her head until her colour turned to a colour almost like the backing of mirrors, and then, with the boy’s aid, hoisted her aboard, the male fish had stayed by the side of the boat. Then, while the old man was clearing the lines and preparing the harpoon, the male fish jumped high into the air beside the boat to see where the female was and then went down deep, his lavender wings, that were his pectoral fins, spread wide and all his wide lavender stripes showing. He was beautiful, the old man remembered, and he had stayed.

… Florida Man.


#10

Giant fish and the Fla. man

A woman is heard screaming as Reynolds uses all his strength to haul the fish onto the dock. Reynolds nearly loses his balance several times, swaying back and forth as the tarpon, known as the “Silver King” by fishermen, continues to cling to his arm.

The two then fall to the pier, where Reynolds, after nearly a full minute, finally overtakes the fish and pulls him from his arm.

The fish flops back into the water, victorious.


– Florida Man

#11

This seems like a contest that could be made quicker and far more amusing by reducing the emphasis on appearance and increasing the focus on boozy machismo. Then you just choose the survivor who best looks the part.


#12

Wouldn’t that just be called the “Florida Man” actalike contest.


#13

Didn’t the same guy win the Herman Melville look-alike contest a few years ago?


#14

He just got better with age.


#15

Now I can finally picture Florida Man accurately whenever he strikes again in some outrageous headline.


#16

This guy looks like Hemingway if instead of: running the bulls at Pamplona, driving an ambulance in the Spanish Revolution, briefly remembering a lost love towards the bottom of a bottle, all that sort of thing… he’d spent decades on eBay collecting Beanie Babies.


#17

Hiassen novels are Florida concentrate. With the pulp left in.


#18

This topic was automatically closed after 5 days. New replies are no longer allowed.