"Free Candy" van creeps out parents in Sacramento


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I know the origin of the original Free Candy van.

A neighbor friend wrote the Free Candy on Bobo’s old van in White shoe polish.

Bobotech’s van

Phear Me.


Good thing this didn’t drive through their 'hood.


Children are much more likely to be abducted by someone they know (75%), and if they are abducted by a stranger, chances are less that they’ll be harmed. So a white “Free Candy” van should make you worry less than your stepmom’s minivan.


And if someone wanted to lure someone, they wouldn’t advertise with “free candy”. And if they did, they would make it look nice.

It is obviously a joke.


I think this is just a case of that freak Andy misspelling “Freak Andy.”


It’s nice to know that if was there actually a creepy white van around that people would be taking notice of that.

It’s nice to know that if the mythical swamp monster came, dripping in fungus and pus, that people would take notice of that and report him.

Hooray, we’ve taught people how to be afraid of the real dangers!


If 1 in 4 abducted children is abducted by a stranger, then it’s probably okay to be mildly alarmed by the free candy van. In the context of Burning Man, I love it. In the context of my neighborhood, I still love it but I’m also calling the cops to come check out the suspicious vehicle.


There is no such thing as an obvious joke. You can always count on that one guy to say, “it’s not funny!” and call the cops, because won’t somebody think of the children?

Righteous indignation is like a drug epidemic.


See something, say something!!!


We should all join them in protesting the unjust incarceration of Candy.


If the cops weren’t completely off the leash, that wouldn’t be so big of a problem…



Can’t tell if joking…

Huffing Boing Boing

Goddam take me back to 1983!


That video looks like it was shot that time they came to play at Burning Man! Most people didn’t see them, they were way out by the trash fence…


Who can take a sunrise (who can take a sunrise)
Sprinkle it with dew (sprinkle it with dew)
Cover it with choc’late and a miracle or two
The Candy Van (the Candy Van)
Oh, the Candy Van can (the Candy Van can)
The Candy Van can
'Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
(Makes the world taste good)



No free candy in the USA! It’s the gateway drug of COMMUNISM!


Guys. A few people took pictures, and a local news team dropped by to hit their Weird News filler quota. Nobody even mentioned the cops. It’s okay.