Dressing for these sorts of things is always a fine balance. You want to look important, but not more important than people think you are. Dressing down shows lack of respect, unless you’re important enough to be above it all. Hence, abominations like khakis, for people not important enough for slacks but who can’t get away with wearing jeans.
As for being aloof, maybe I am. Trying to pretend like I’m everyone’s buddy will just wear thin real quick. It doesn’t suit me. I’m someone to whom it takes time to warm up. That’s just who I am.
It was the faux pas equivalent of wearing cargo shorts to Goldman Sachs.
Ironically, on two different occasions now, people have seen the makers mark in one of my suits. One said, “I really like their cut, they make great clothes”. The second was a top tier VC, who simply said, “yeah, we invested and own a stake in them”.
Fuck today, I have so much serious work which I’m procrastinating that I’m talking fashion. I need a minder.
I used my situation a few years ago for general education purposes: after having gained some weight in the process of multiple surgeries, chemo, radiation, and various medications, I dropped it again rather quickly (which happens to me: medical stress, including pregnancy, makes me gain quickly but then lose it again quickly when the circumstances change) and people were coming up to me and saying “wow, you look great! you really lost some weight!” to which I would reply, very seriously, “yes, but don’t worry, it doesn’t seem to be related to the cancer so my oncologist isn’t concerned.” Almost everyone looked like they’d seen a ghost, and a few would admit that it made them think about how they ASSUMED losing weight (especially for a woman) was always seen as something to be commented on and celebrated.
If you’re not someone’s doctor, it’s probably not your place to comment on someone’s weight and size. Period.
I’ve always found in those cases (and, indeed, much of the time in general for me…) that I do best when I wear the suit (or odd jacket, or tie, or whatever is being considered “over dressing”) with no regard whatsoever to the fact I’m wearing it. My mannerism between wearing a suit and a hoodie hardly change.
The act of wearing the suit and showing no regard for wearing the suit takes much of the edge off for people, and is, in fact, much of who I am. I’ll club a tie and roll up sleeves if there’s labor to be done, but I’m not taking the tie off.
Fuck today. Day 96 of the job search. Applied to the few dozen job openings in this podunk city (Prince Albert), received zero responses. Tired of feeling useless, tired of couch surfing, tired of having to bum internet from cafés. Fuck everything.
I’m glad Canada has “strict” gun controls. I suspect I am not the only jobless youth, and that there are other far more angry and irrational ones who would otherwise take “direct action”.
Back to reading The Communist Manifesto and spending time in San Andreas…
Dude, hang in there. I was made redundant eight years ago. Since then, I was unemployed for about four years total, on-and-off. But in July last year, I got a part-time job. Then in September, I got another part-time job. It’s not great but with two part-time jobs, I can scrape together a living. And if I can do it, you definitely can. (There’s comments from me earlier in this thread about how I’m terrified of becoming homeless and how close I came to it through having just about $0 in the bank. These guys here are so kind and supportive, even if there’s nothing they can do in real life, it really helps.)
And jesus, whatever else you do, stay away from guns. I don’t know if from your comment you meant you’d turn on others or yourself but please, stay the fuck away from guns!
So, young man, how can I help? I’ve asked before if you’re in Melb and didn’t get any response, so let me say it this way. I’m in Melbourne and if there’s any way I can be of assistance, I would like to. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.
Nah, I’m a bit further North up here in sunny QLD But thanks.
I’m stoked for my mate to get his dream job but it is gonna make things more awkward for me. It is what it is. I hate relying on people and he’s always been real good about not making a flap about things.
I grew up in Regina, and I ended up moving out of province to get work. It depends a bit on what kind of work you’re looking for of course - my brother seems to be doing well as a mechanic. I wanted to do software dev, so I moved. The non-government software shops that I encountered in SK tended to be fairly small, and I’m not sure how one would have gotten hired without knowing someone who already worked there.
of course, I was also lucky to be looking for programming work in the mid to late 90’s - there was a time when basic knowledge of HTML was considered to be a pretty awesome skillset.
I was happy in the Corps of Cadets and the USMC with never having to decide what to wear. And the company I work for has a uniform policy as well. For me, even when the rest of the officers wear dress uniforms, I get to wear company coveralls because it is presumed that I will be called into a crane or machinery space at any time. The only thing that sucks is that I always have to be carrying two or three radios.
But thanks.
