True, and something I’ll definitely take up when we reach that point. And FWIW, the DNA tests I took (Ancestry.com and 23andme.com) do offer some help in that regard, but I think that strain of science needs more data and time to become entirely useful/actionable.
Oh, I also learned I have a sister that’s two years older than me. Not sure if she knows about me or our mom…the info is flowing, but in more of a “cool honey” drip, as opposed to “freakin deluge”.
Lessons learned: Don’t assume the worst, even though it’s the easiest assumption to make about what happened and why. At my worst moments in life, retelling myself the worst of those notions to underline and enhance my guilt/fear/sadness/self-loathing was far too easy and far too regular. And at least in this case, both of us performed that particular feat of self-destruction. Seems a little stupid now that I write it down. That shit is an emotional boat anchor–either use it creatively to good effect, or recognize it and then let it drop, out of sight and mind, to the bottom of the sea.
Also, if finding that biological parent/child/sibling is important, don’t give up. Holy fucken shit don’t give up. Between DNA testing, various government record sets coming online, and the ubiquity of the internet, the wisps of information that will break a particular case are floating around out there, somewhere, and with enough time, it will come to light. I think the hardest part comes after that info is found.
Which leads me to: For those doing a DNA test or family research, be prepared for interesting results (something I recall you writing to me, @chgoliz, but something I didn’t understand until I started getting details). If one were to gaze a wandering eye across my big beautiful frame, they’d likely think, “OMFG SO AWESOME”…ahem…in addition to, “Caucasian dude; whitebread; blanca; privileged; really tall; does he play basketball (NO!); yawn”. Which means they’d miss my Senegalese heritage (itself one of the high points of my DNA test). Some current family members found that to be neat, others, not so much. Brothers thinking they’re cousins, moms and daughters who aren’t really related, and that sort of thing. If anything, it’s been a crash course in family relations.
To sum up: [shitload of insane emoticons] Emotional and scary, but thrilling beyond words.
And did I say thanks to @chgoliz? I did, right? Because, wow. Wow.