This.
This.
This.
What a shitbox of a day. Bummed out.
(I went with the IPA)
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I am tempted to just go get some more Bourbon…
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Colleague delivered me the chip I needed. I tried for some more nap and finished a book. Now replaced the chip, thinking it will be straightforward. And it turned out that the problem persists.
Why, when it was not a problem with the chip?!?
So I lost three days for nothing it seems.
Why the chip before tested bad? Because the trimpot I used to simulate the input signal was faulty. And because when simulating the signal through the input divider I probably had the same problem as I have now.
Why?!?
Further tests shown that the input range of the ADC at 0…5 volts is -80…+700 (approx.) volts. So -80 means 0V at the ADC input.
The optoisolator amp is biased to negative input slightly. (Why? But it is by design.)
So let’s check the functionality. I do not understand this part 100% yet. It looks trivial. It does not behave so.
Here goes the night…
And a local vendor I ordered something from took the invoice and since then they do not even pick up the phone nor react otherwise. So, ordering through a friend and getting it delivered in person when he returns from the states, to avoid the customs bullshit. American companies don’t know how to sell to foreign countries; Chinese will write “gift” or low value on the package and it sails through. Ukrainians the same. But Americans have to be stupidly “honest” and then one gets to pay nonsense fees and spend nonsense time with paperwork and waiting in queues. And extra handling fees. And when you order from a local reseller, when it is possible, you get an unresponsive subject that won’t bother to even communicate.
And a shipment of thermochromic pigments from China is nowhere to be found, I am waiting and waiting and waiting. And waiting.
And some more major logistical issues with other shipments.
And I misplaced the board of a strain gage amplifier/ADC. So had to order another.
I hate voltage dividers. I hate isolation amplifiers. And I hate hate hate logistics.
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I seem to get the rare and worrying side effects whenever I take antidepressants
I had the best luck with Sertraline (Zoloft). I only got migraines and weird cognitive problems with it. I can’t remember what I took when I decided it was a good idea to use razor blades on my arms, but I’m sure my GP does. Then there was that other one that i can’t remember which I am still convinced were sugar pills for all the good they did.
I just take propanolol for my panic attacks now.
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I don’t usually have panic attacks (except for the one time (which was… Uncomfortable)). If you ever want to start a private conversation about meds, feelings, complaints about doctor visits, and the like, please include me.
I have no answers. But I have a big ear.
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Can i add a few?
Yet more disability benefit cuts
and we are supposed to save enough to keep us going for six months.
I work out my six months buffer as being three times twice as much as people on welfare in the UK are allowed to save.
Forget IPA, I think I need a bottle of Knockeen Hills 90% vol. poitin.
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Not enough hours in the fucking day, week, month, year. Spring Break means no schoolwork, but plenty of time working my job flogging sophisticated technology to people who have less patience than sense enough to realize that I’m not actually trying to rip them off when I explain that 720p is low for projectors, and even if it does say “HD” on that 720p projector, you don’t want it because you want to show Blue-Ray movies on it and it’s not going to look as good, I promise you this. Even that wouldn’t be so bad except that our tech department is getting flooded with computers experiencing the same Win 10 issue where the start menu quits working and the whole OS becomes unusable soup and requires a clean reinstall because not enough functional ecosystem is left to just fix it using even low level methods. It’s time consuming and annoying and we don’t really have time for it.
Meanwhile this whole semester has gone to absolute shit grades-wise. It’s not so bad that it’s unrecoverable, but I was hoping to use this break to play catch up on some things, and I haven’t even started and we’re halfway through. We had a complain-ey email as a class from a chem professor basically saying our cohort were shit students, which is all my cohort has ever heard. For me personally it literally started with my very first class, so there’s no small part of me that feels like maybe we’re being cast in a role we didn’t ask for. That being said, we’re told a lot that we should be using each other as resources for study, and this is the most cliqueish bunch I’ve ever seen. I’m not lonely and I have valued friendships and social circles, but they’re all people my age (~10 years above general undergrad age) and none of those people take classes with me, so it really sucks not being able to find anyone who actually wants to form a study group.
Basically: I’m tired of work, I’m tired of school, and I’ve just got too damn much to do with both.
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And by “Like” I mean that all sounds thoroughly wretched.
For me Prozac and the other SSRI I tried worked deceptively well for a little while, but it gradually made me get more forgetful and disorganized which meant I wasn’t getting much done which made me progressively more depressed about that. They also gradually affected me so that I couldn’t really feel anything when I had an orgasm. That certainly didn’t help how I felt about life in general. Years later, when I was willing to try antidepressants again, Wellbutrin worked pretty well for me but I’m currently really trying to see if I can get by without. I think once the longer days kick in again I may be OK.
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Similar here; but when you don’t have anybody to get laid by it doesn’t matter That Much.
What helps me a little is a metalhalide lamp. 100 watts straight against a white wall. Brilliant white light. Starts up slowly, takes time until it heats and gets full brightness; good for gentle wakeup as a sun clock.
I heard something about rTMS. Generally it is a rig with typically a pair of magnetic coils, positioned against the brain and selectively delivering repetitive pulses of magnetic field. Works like direct electrical stimulation of a diffuse localized area. Can be done after fMRI scan shows what brain areas are underperforming, so it can be properly targeted.
TDCS is also being researched. This method has the advantage of a simple homemade rig being possible. TACS, a variant with AC current instead of DC, also exists but when you set it up wrong you risk seizures and the circuitry is more challenging. (Though it could be possibly done as computer-controlled, using software-generated waveform through a soundcard.) I am still in initial phases of literature reviews so far.
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I actually have a high-intensity full spectrum fluorescent light, and I have my meditation, and things start going pretty well when I manage to sit down and do my meditation in front of the high intensity light immediately after my first cup of coffee in the morning. The problem is managing to motivate myself enough to do that consistently when I’m in this very low energy state.
If you’re interested in trying something non-chemical, IMO more established as effective than the trans-cranial stimulation stuff, and already available, you could try searching for a therapist who does EEG feedback or “Neurofeedback”. This is essentially a system of using computer visual feedback - simplified video games - as a feedback mechanism for training targeted EEG frequencies in selected regions of the brain. No talk therapy required, you don’t have to discuss feelings or issues much. (Except as they constitute data on whether it’s improving or not.) That was working pretty well for me for a while, and I would probably try starting that again before trying chemical antidepressants again. My therapist was a nice lady who was fairly nuts, but nonetheless pretty competent at what she was doing.
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I have two assignments due on Friday, and it’s really hard to find the time in the middle of the busiest month of work I’ve had for years. There’s also all the childcare and housework and problems with motivation from my medication. In spite of this, everyone keeps asking me to do little jobs for them or spend time with them (and they keep asking when I tell them I’m too busy). I really don’t know whether I’ll have to retake this year of studies or not, because it’s really hard to find the time.
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I am feeling under-appreciated, taken for granted, and generally ignored today. Bah. And its grey and rainy to boot.
Fuck today.
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I two people who have had an experience of simply adjusting to SSRIs. They help at first and then gradually you basically return to how you were before you started them. Then the doctors tell you to try increasing your dose and a year and a half later you are on the maximum allowable dose and it is having no effect on you but you are dependent on it to avoid crazy (and I mean crazy) withdrawal symptoms. Hearing their stories allowed me to avoid this upward spiral of ineffective medication myself.
One thing I’ve found interesting about the experience of anti-depressants was the way it taught me to separate enjoyment/pain from experiences. My first week on Effexor I slept about five or six hours (not a night, the whole week). I was so tired I could hardly move. If you think of every experience you have of being tired - eyelids feel heavy, limbs feel heavy, everything seems to take extra effort, headaches, etc. - I had all of that. But I didn’t mind. I felt pretty okay about it. I think extreme fatigue is a very pure form of suffering, your body is just sending you every signal in the book that you have to stop what you are doing. But the un-enjoyment of that, was just not present, even though I was aware of physical pain, physical pain just didn’t seem bad.
That insanity only lasted about a week, but the experience sure stuck with me.
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My friends tell me when I was on effexor I was literally crazy. And I honestly don’t remember any of it. And I don’t mean the crazy part, i dont remember any of it.
I have big ears, if you ever need to just type, I am here. I rarely have new novel answers, but I am an excellent listener.
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I’ve had sores on my tongue for a week (you know that feeling when you burn your tongue? how about a week of that) and the doctor told me that it should go away on its own in the next… 10 days. Apparently (assuming it isn’t syphilis, and I have good reason to suspect it isn’t syphilis) it’s probably some hand-foot-and-mouth-like disease, just the mouth part only.
The only advice anyone has to make it hurt less to to rinse with salt water a few times a day which is probably helping to make sure it doesn’t become infected but isn’t helping the pain at all. I haven’t eaten solid food in a couple of days now, I had to stop drinking tea because it was bothering my mouth so now I have a wicked caffiene withdrawal headache. I also have urgent year-end stuff to do at work so I can’t stay home sick. Fuck today indeed.
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Would caffeine pills help? If we could send matter through internet I’d send you some.
Define crazy?
I am on it now.
It SUCKS. I have that for years (not extreme, just high to very high) and it is crippling.
Also, Effexor pretty much requires supplementing with a hypnotic. Don’t ask how I know. Seems to be getting better though.
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Irrational behavior and memory loss. But that’s the thing with ssri’s, it may do that me but not to anyone else.
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Yeah, if you think about how the system actually works, it’s a wonder they have any kind of consistent effects at all. Your neurons produce neurotransmitters to communicate with one another. A neurotransmitter may tell a neuron to fire or to not fire, and may be competing with other neurotransmitters to do so. So serotonin might be like +0.15 to fire on one neuron and -0.37 to fire on another. Of course what those neurons do is something else entirely. Basically firing or not firing could mean virtually anything.
Those are chemicals that have to travel a short distance between the neurons and have an opportunity to float off in some other direction. Your brain has collection systems to make sure that they don’t just float all around and make random things happen. The collection systems aren’t perfect, and clearly our brains evolved to have these gaps, so some amount of neurotransmitters floating around hitting other neurons at random is expected and normal.
An SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) inhibits the “reuptake” (or absorption) of serotonin by those clean-up systems. So there is just more serotonin floating around in your brain. As discussed, this means that some neurons fire or not fire and that means virtually anything. We know that low serotonin is associated with depression, and clinical trials tell us that SSRIs seem to reduce depression on average, but they also do basically everything else. If your brain can do a thing, an SSRI can make your brain do that thing.
I once asked a doctor about a side effect I was having for Effexor and they got out this giant bible of side effects. It looked like an old-timey encyclopedia with four columns on a page, very small type, onion-skin thin pages, probably 8.5 x 11 sheets. The known side effects for Effexor went on for four pages.
And psychiatrists don’t know shit. They just say, “Hmm… how about you try this one?” It’s apparently totally unpredictable who will react what way to what.
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There’s a research going on to pair the response to individual kinds of medication with genetic variations in genes for the various receptors. So this trial-and-error approach could become obsolete soon.
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It feels completely unscientific, but sometimes reading what other people have written online can be the most helpful. Half the time I mention side effects to my psychiatrist, she acts surprised because the opposite should happen. Sometimes the opposite does happen at a different dose. Then you read a few reports from other people about themselves or their family members and it fairly accurately describes what you’re experiencing. It may not be anything like a diagnosis, but at least it points to a pattern of symptoms that can go together rather than just a long list. It’s good to know that you’re not crazy - or at least you are crazy in a way that other people are too.
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