Old news, but I only saw it for the first time today. Tony Hopper, Carlisle United player from 1992 to 2002, has been diagnosed with bulbar-onset motor neurone disease.
He was playing for a Carlisle United legends team only six months ago
Here he is scoring a rare goal back in 1999
and now I’m very depressed 
Lost my job of nearly 6 years today. Completely unexpected. Spotless record.
Yay for a small severance package once I sign the agreement. Not yay for getting shafted by a non-profit I consistently gave 110% to, despite a few prior events that (in retrospect) should have been warnings to me that no one is truly safe there.
Yay for finally being out from under an evangelical leaden cloud of emotional and intellectual self-conflictedness (no more ignoring the anti-LGBT, anti anyone-who isn’t white and exactly like us, etc…). Not yay for being gaslighted during the “surprise, you’re being let go” meeting.
I could go on, and might later on, but but for now at least I’ve got a reasonably-employable skillset (a little niche, but not a dead professional segment by any means) and an unexpected opportunity to pursue new options where I might finally be at least a little more at peace with myself.
That’s how I’m choosing to look at it anyway. Tomorrow is another day.
Edited to correct autocorrect (“skillset” not “skillet”). WTH, Google, WTH?!?
I hope that this is one of those situations that you can look back on later and say “it started out bad, but turned out to be a really good thing.” Be well!
I hope so too. Thank you, truly.
This stuck out for me. Are they getting rid of you so as to be philosophically more pure?
Obviously, I’m thinking back in history to other times when this sort of thing has been one of the canaries in the coal mine.
I have yet to see one non-broken piece of software developed by the KBV*.
not even filing bugs is fun - at most two answers by them are enough to win a bullshit bingo round.
* one of the three important stakeholders in the German public healthcare system on the self-governing level
I don’t believe so, as they don’t know my real opinions on the social and political stuff. Maybe three people out of the 300+ people there know that I didn’t have any positive thoughts to send toward drumpf during the campaign, and as I’m generally quiet and withdrawn when given the option, I was able to avoid discussions surrounding equality and such. The only thing I ever did in that regard was to wear a safety pin on my security badge lanyard, and I doubt anyone ever noticed it (most of the time my badge was in my pocket).
So no, as far as I can tell, it wasn’t a purge. Had it been one, there likely would have been some questioning.
As best as I can tell it was a combination of willful ignorance (don’t take the time to ask me what all goes into what I do, just assume that because I make it look easy then it must be so), petty office politics (I didn’t play their games or stoop to certain levels, I was there to do difficult work in a committed fashion and maybe they felt that made them look bad?), and a bit of jealousy. The jealousy part takes a bit to unpack… I and the department I managed were merged into a different group as part of a high-level power play a while back after my C-level boss retired… that vacuum was seized upon and we got absorbed into a group that was mostly at a lower pay scale, and while that VP wanted our group as a feather in the cap, I think he somehow felt as if his superiority was being threatened because of our general earnings level. I think he also realized that because of our similar personalities I could see right through his crap, and I assume that was probably threatening too. Just my hypothesis.
The one thing I did do which probably put me on the radar was to take a firm stand on the matter of pay inequality regarding one of the people I supervised vs the rest of the folks under my supervision. She (of course, welcome to evangelicalville) was being under-compensated by 30% plus vs the average of the others, and nearly 50% less that the highest earner (male) who had nearly identical seniority and career path progression as she did, but who had two more testicles and one less uterus than she did. My struggle with getting that addressed was a drawn-out process, but she ended up getting a raise of about half of the difference between herself and anyone else, with the “promise” of an additional adjustment the following year. Of course, a rarely-enforced technicality from the handbook (one of those ambiguously worded ones that can be easily weaponized) was brought forward shortly thereafter and she was given her papers. She chose to take a severance payment and not to fight the decision (which was handled in such a way that a lawsuit wouldn’t have had much hope, despite how easy it was for anyone paying attention to see why she had been targeted) and I respected her decision. I think that was probably what put me on the radar, but they couldn’t afford to immediately stick it to me without assuming too much risk. Almost exactly a year later though, and their butts are covered and my position can be deemed “redundant” (they’ll likely be surprised once they finally figure out what all I had been doing for them, I think I was sorely underestimated in that regard).
That was probably longer than you probably wanted to read, but further proof that “ministries” aren’t immune from being wolves in sheep’s clothing when it suits their purposes.
Good riddance to bad rubbish, as it were.
Edited for: punctuation/spelling errors
Thanks for explaining further.
Seems like you’re trying to be as fair and objective as possible, but to me it sounds a lot like they got rid of the ethical ‘troublemaker’. I’m sorry for that, and hope that your next job is with a company that is more ethical and appreciates your skill set.
I have fallen into assuming sheep I see in such situations are probably wolves until proven otherwise.
I don’t disagree at all. It pains me deeply though that it was done by those who profess to “do the Lord’s work”.
History is replete with examples of how someone with a conscience can be perceived as a threat by those who would wish to hold tightly to power. History rarely ends the lesson there though, and I’ve gotten the general impression that eventually karma comes back around to the buffet for seconds. My consolation is that those who would most benefit from remembering this are the ones least likely to bother to do so.
Yes, that’s a little smug, but I think the record stands up to scrutiny.
It’s funny how growing up the mantra of “always do the right thing, no matter what” was thoroughly embedded into my brain. Yet in my adult experience, doing so has directly cost me two jobs and indirectly helped to shorten another, all of which were in “ministries”. I wouldn’t do it differently if given the chance to go back in time, but there are a lot of days where it seems to me that there is a distinct imbalance between the good and bad in the world, and not in a favorable way.
I remind myself that such is probably not the case at all, but instead is a matter of where I’m choosing to focus my attention. But sometimes it’s hard to look away from that and find the good that is all around me. Unemployment offers me an opportunity to catch my breath, and walk around in nature, and do some volunteering in my community, so I think refocusing will happen very soon. But in the meantime that’s a hell of a monster to have to extract from your brain.
And yes, I share that hope. Thank you.
I don’t just want to be able to pay the bills and put food on the table, I want to make a difference somewhere, and I remain hopeful that there are places in which to do all of that without becoming conflicted. Going forward, they won’t be evangelical though. I think I’ve finally learned that lesson. O.o
You’re not wrong to operate on that basis. I’m sitting on that bench now myself.
Dropped my camera last week (a leica!). The shutter button is getting progressively harder to push.
And- I was checking out a John Deere tractor for spring, and noticed a small oil leak at the crankshaft. Seal change did not help. I started tearing in, and it is a bad $5.00 bearing on the crankshaft. I had to remove and disassemble the engine, to get at the stupid bearing. Now I have pistons and all sorts of engine parts laid out neatly on my shop floor, waiting for the bearing, and new gaskets to put it all back together. And the bearing failed way before it should have.
If you’re not already reading Fred Clark’s blog Slacktivist (coined before it became a term of derision), I’d recommend it. He walks the walk: not ALL Evangelicals are wolves.
As for being honorable at work: the thing to do is pay attention during the hiring process to the actual (not claimed) values of the organization and the people you would be working with and under. If they’re the type to see honesty and integrity as weaknesses, someone like you will be abused.
Don’t change yourself: change the type of organization you work for.
Thanks for the recommendation! I’ve heard of it, but never got around to checking it out. It’s now on my “you’ve got unexpected spare time so get caught up on reading” short list.
Dang. That kind of thing is a pain in the ass. Hope the new bearing lasts for at least its rated lifespan for you.
Having heard your story, I don’t know about ‘fuck today’, but do you mind if I give a hearty ‘fuck them’?
Because seriously, I’m sorry to hear all that, and fuck them, most sincerely.
While I might refrain from saying that myself (at least until the checks clear and I’m fully detached from them), far be it from me to ever discourage a fellow BBS happy mutant from speaking their mind clearly and succinctly. I support free speech 1000% !!!
Your image choice, not mine, but again far be it from me to discourage your free exercise of speech! My support for that right is unwavering. And yes, proportionately, I’d say it looks just about right. Rusty nails only enhance the look, and I’d encourage any spares to be driven partially into the utility pole prior to any off-label applications. You know, for balance and aesthetics and such.
I would like to observe that, while I am still a drama tornado, I haven’t had a Fuck Today in months.
I almost had one on Monday, but instead I wrote in my journal. Which I keep in my manbag. Fuck today, a manbag isn’t a purse!! 
Challenges still loom, but this thread has ironically given me the perspective to say, “well, today is pretty dumb, but it isn’t a Fuck Today”.
