Right back at ya… it’s folks like you that make it worth while!
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I took my GRE last night. I did well. I got a near perfect verbal score and an okay math score which I attribute to desperately needing to pee during one section, despite having gone before the test began. (I still think it’s a pretty worthless test.) Mostly the whole grad application process has me stressed out and annoyed.
Someone needs to tell me to shut the fuck up, because in a way, I have some great problems. The lab I did undergraduate research with hired me during my gap year and is paying me (admittedly not much) to do research. My boss is trying to woo me into continuing my graduate education there with promises of funding and setting me up for an NSF grant. My grades are just good enough to apply to grad schools, so I kinda want to take my boss up on his offers, but my girlfriend desperately does not want to stay in this town. I really can’t blame her, since there’s nothing for her here, careerwise. That said, I’ve expressed to her that in selecting a grad school, there’s no guarantee that there will be something for her where we move. The compromise I’ve offered is that she can move anywhere she needs to for her career and it’s just three years for me if I stay here (that’s another piece of the offer, which is attractive for a chemistry PhD, although it’s contingent on getting the NSF or departmental grants that I would start working on in January), but she really does not want to live away from me which is sweet, but not conducive to a resolution that both of us will be happy with. At this point she and I have been together for close to five years and whatever happens, this isn’t something we’re going to walk away from just because our careers are running slightly crossways at the moment. That much we’re clear on, at least.
All of this is causing me no end of stress right now, which I expected to improve when I finished the GRE, but seems only to have intensified.
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This is no advise, just a personal account because your text triggered memories I still struggle to come to terms with from time to time.
Once upon a time, when 500km were a long, long way, I changed my Uni and subjects some weeks into the courses to be closer to my partner at the time. I was very unhappy with the courses, unsure about my path and subjects (and “career” path) and was clinging to my partner. Maybe I was looking for stability.
My anxieties and subsequent depression killed the relationship within six weeks of that decision. Which didn’t make the depression any better, of course.
I came through this, but never stopped asking myself if this was the right decision. I often ask myself what would have gone different if I decided differently. And I know that I should have searched for professional help, during and afterwards.
I don’t know shit about you, and how you deal with stress. But I sincerely whish you all the best. Take care of yourself, and your partner. And however you decide any of your choices, I hope you’re able to stand by it happily ever after.
And I really, really mean it.
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Finished applying to my reach grad school and I felt happy to finally hit the submit button only to be hit with waves of regret. Now, I just feel like I flushed $90 down the toilet.
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I have no doubt you’ll get in. Unlike me, I’m sure grad school won’t be a waste of your time! 
Cat and Girl will cheer you right up!
Good luck and let us know if you got in! Congratulations on starting human life!
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I have a fun story about this. I was working in the lab when one of the well known professors of the department walks in. Guy worked for [Major Chemical Company You’ve Definitely Heard Of], and made a buttload of money before donating a bunch of it to the university and now has his own lab there.
I was still in undergrad at the time and the guy asks me for my plans after college. I knew I wanted to do grad school, but I felt like maybe I wanted to take some time and work for a few years in industry. I told him I was looking at a master’s program that sort of married you with an internship program and he just looked at me and said, “Y’know, in industry they don’t really take master’s degrees seriously, you’ll really be limited there.” And he walked away.
This was like the time when someone told me that they don’t take anyone seriously if they don’t wear a wristwatch, despite the advent of phones, which made most wristwatches jewelry*. Dude was an attorney who hired people. The upper echelons of anything and everything are filled with people like this and you have to appeal to their stupid prejudices.
I hope you don’t really feel that way. I wanna say something about how having a Fud is personally enriching even if it doesn’t translate into specific career aspirations, but we all got fed that line in undergrad too, and I’m not sure we bought it then.
*Nothing against a nice wristwatch, it’s just not necessary to own one to demonstrate to me that you care about your time.
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I don’t know… I’m probably just feeling pretty bleak about the job market, honestly. I really do suck at the networking part of academia and it’s coming back to haunt me a bit.
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I’m a really outgoing person (it was a long road to realizing that fact), so networking comes a little easier to me than I thought it would. If I can give some non-expert advice as someone who does not know your life, networking really is about confidence. In short:
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Damn it. The 15 year old burmese sweetie of a cat did a good job at hiding his discomfort till last Friday or so.
He has cancer and at stage that we have drugs to make him more comfy for a few days to say goodbye.
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Damn, I’m sorry; that sucks.
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Indeed it does, but he has had a comfy lap filled life.
pics from the pets thread when it was too warm for a lap even for him.
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What a pretty boy…
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Black cats are the best
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He was not black. He was BROWN cause ‘Brown is beautiful baby’
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Ok, ok. Chocolate.
(Our beloved and much missed black kitty began “rusting” as he got older and his coat looked a lot like that.)
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Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder. Just Fuck.
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Well that turned out to be one day. Rest well little fuzzy murder beast. While you made going to bed a hassle some nights I will miss your presence on my chest while trying to read a book in bed.
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I’m sorry…
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Oh, TobinL. I am truly sorry for your loss. Sixteen years…What a stud!
We had to put our very last kitty friend (Snowshoe Siamese) down in October – he had a fast-growing tumor, too.
I hope you (and Mrs. TobinL) begin to feel better soon. I’m sending you both hugs and lots of love.
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