Understood; every person has different features and body types that ‘do it’ for them… usually based on some perceived archetype that they were exposed to during development which they imprinted upon.
Personally I like musculature, but I prefer a more lanky, ‘basketball player/long distance runner’ kind of build.
Which of course does not negate my ability to be attracted to individuals outside of that particular physical archetype; it’s just the form that naturally draws my eye.
Your line about bigger pecs than yours made me laugh because I once showed my outspoken friend a pic of my then boyfriend; and her response was an objectifying gender reversal, “nice tits.” I laughed my ass off.
And yeah, that’s actually him.
I don’t like the men I actually date in meatspace to be any more muscular than that; it’s just too much.
I just took the time to watch this. I enjoyed hearing the perspective of the women, and I think what struck me most is the idea of passivity/waiting vs. action in the world. Strong stuff.
I remember reading about a study a few years back on internet dating profiles - about what each sex responded to the most when looking at the other’s posted photos. Specifically, that women responded more favorably to photos of men who did not look to the camera lens.
Thinking about how women are fully conscious of the male gaze - how do you think this is centered - that if a man looks into the lens it feels like you are conscious of being looked at as the viewer? Does the feeling persist even though you know it’s an inert photograph?
Yes, that’s a common side-effect of objectification. Or really, often the desired effect, when it’s say, corporations using objectification to push products.
Okay. Right there. I just realized I was reliving my junior high/high school patterns of being Sam Weir (Freaks and Geeks). Gym class, showering, the whole bit.
I regret having participated to this discussion and deleted my posts accordingly. If the answers could also be deleted, I would be grateful. Thank you.
That’s a really cool point. Hm. Trying to think back to my online dating days… for me at least or would be the simulation of being caught looking. It can be very very humiliating to be caught looking. So if he’s looking at me, automatically I want to look away.
I think definitely the reverse for the reverse scenario. In my opinion, so much of the process of (the woman) exposing oneself is tied up in looking toward the lens, toward the viewer. Awareness of being viewed. European art, modern and contemporary advertising, pornography (especially of late, with the Point of View trend).
I think it would naturally follow that a man would respond more favorably to an online dating ad full of photos that look into the lens.
There’s a picture I’ve seen on Tumblr (that I can’t find now because you can’t search Tumblr for shit), of a classical Greek nude statue of a woman … with a cell phone in her hand. Just the idea that a woman might be capturing her own beauty, rather than a man capturing it for himself, is enough to change one’s perception of the sculpture.
Nah. Looks like he shaves/waxes (ew!) except for around his nipples. Ew.
For me, objectifying men is not as easy (!) as it used to be, as I have a son to whom I’ve imparted the notion of not objectifying women (even though, yeah, it’s gonna happen on both our parts once in a while).
So I see the above and think, “Oh, he looks like he’s nice to his mom! But what’s this thing with the underwear?” Being raised in the 1970s by people with conceived values (for the most part) from the 1940s can make things really weird for a gal.
Sometimes, I’m a curious combo of June Cleaver and Jezebel…I did have my moments when I saw the first Avengers film; when Chris Evans emerges from the Super-Soldier pod, I audibly gasped - and I was sitting next to my son in the theatre! And, pun intended, I fell under the spell of Tom Hiddleston for a while. But it’s hard for me to see any person as an object, because I’ve conditioned myself not to.
The scene in Civil War where he stops a helicopter with his bare hands … I have a phobia of helicopters; I have trouble even watching them onscreen. So I was trying to peek through my fingers at that the whole time.
It flares up, on occasion, even as one ages; just add age-discrimination to gender-objectification, and the result is the desire to kill that kid that calls one an “old bag” the first time one hears it.
@manybellsdown And that makes me picture a potential Banksy showing a guy pulling on his waistband, taking a photo of his junk.
Lucy - I understand where you’re coming from. I’m definitely in favor of freedom of self-expression, and pro-sex. I think some of my personal experiences had been helpful in shaping my views.
Being an artist, I see a few models in person. I know quite a bit about their personal lives, and they mine. One who I consider a friend is a former dancer, adult pictorial model, and dominatrix. Our conversations often center around sex in media/objectification or sometimes, the mundane hassles of raising kids with ADHD. I’ve seen her in all her glory, but it’s impossible for me to blank out my concern for her as a person.
Which raises the issue of pornography. I personally know women who watch porn, and who still have strong convictions about being seen as autonomous people. Do you think it’s possible to balance these viewpoints?
ETA: Oh, and yes, I saw the underwear - but it was much less offensive than the IP link that I had to crop from the photo. Personally, if I were the photographer, I might have mentioned something about the aesthetics of the nipple hair and requested he shave.
