Gentleman who smuggled $165,000 worth of gold in his rectum promises to pay it back


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Rectum? It just about gilt um!


I cannot resist from pointing out the judge’s name is Doody.


Canadian puck smuggler have all the fun.


My first reaction was, “Do you really want it back, after where it’s been?”


The judge ordered that he be forced to pay back the gold as quickly as possible, in accordance with the seldom-invoked “enema of the state” rule.


A fool more foolish than most had once jested that even Lord Tywin’s shit was flecked with gold. Some said the man was still alive, deep in the bowels of Casterly Rock.

—GRRM, A Game of Thrones


Definitely take those checks with some gloves on. Also, don’t borrow his pen. Certainly don’t absentmindedly chew on it.


Yeah, hopefully he will pay back the same amount, not the same gold…


Will be used as argument for cameras in the locker room.


presumably that’s why the offer is to pay it back rather than give it back


That was kinda funny…


And Judge Doody he shall!


My first reaction was a string of incoherent thoughts involving copious quantities of bran muffins and prune juice, and a government official who thought he hated his job until he got handed the strainer.


This guy seems to have taken Freud’s conflation of money and shit a bit too literally.


No gold digger jokes yet?


Yeah right, pay it back my ass!


I’m disappointed the article doesn’t address the size of the pucks. That’s worth knowing.


I was going to go with “he was so scared about getting caught he was shitting bricks.”


He’s the man with the Midass touch
A spider’s touch
Such a cold finger
Beckons you to enter his butt of sin
But don’t go in