Getting off opioids - help this gal find something to do!

[Raita]

@anon39846808

That might be one of the ones that’s a good read for the moment. It’s one of PKD’s later books. He wrote it while sober, and it’s an allegory about 1970s California Drug Culture.

Yeah, I think I might just read it soon.

@Ratel

It’s not that these things are dark or depressing, rather that they all aggressively attack the boundaries of sanity and reality, which are also fragile in such times.

A Scanner Darkly is probably also one of PKD’s most prosaic books, moreso even than Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, certainly more than Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said, although still a little wobbly. Once you start getting into the pink laser stuff, you’re lost…

I think I can handle them, because I’m feeling a lot better than people (or I!) would except. The medication I’ve been given helps so much it’s ridiculous, yet it hasn’t even been properly studied for opiate withdrawal. I found this one study, which really tells all: [Pregabalin for the reduction of opiate withdrawal symptoms] - PubMed

@anon39846808

I went to the first night of the Bridge School Benefit this year, and Chris Cornell said something awesome during their set. He said that Soundgarden wrote a lot of dour music, but he thought that was ultimately a hopeful thing. He wrote (and still writes) that music to reach out to others who find themselves in the darker places the mind has to offer. To tell them, “I’ve been there too, you are not alone.” I nearly cried when he said that. I’ve spent a lot of time listening to sad songs (quite a few of his in that lot) just to know that I wasn’t the only one, and to be just not alone enough to make it through that day.

That’s really touching and really resonates with me There’s one artist who has always been my “soul-mate” artist (not that I really believe in any sort of actual soul connection or whatever, but the kind of music that into words exactly what I’m feeling), and that’s Brandi Carlile. And when you feel like there’s even one person who has felt what you do, it helps you find strength.

This song, Late Morning Lullaby, has gotten me through so much; as have many of her other songs too, but this is special:

Brandi Carlile - Late Morning Lullaby (Unplugged for VH1.com)

Florence and the Machine also has a profound effect on me; it’s melancholic and dark in an upbeat way. They can make a song about suicide and have it sound encouraging. Gotye and Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds also make good melancholic relatable music.

Speaking of music - why do my my earphones always make my left ear hurt? Just the left one. I have Sennheiser HD 202, which should be fairly good, so I don’t know where the problem is. Maybe my left ear is just weird.

Anyway, I was surprisingly energetic today and pretty much organized my whole bedroom and cleaned the kitchen while I was at it. I get that Asperger’s “focus-on-one-thing-and-do-it-well” obsession; I must’ve spent at least 3-4 hours doing it, probably more. But it was worth it. Here’s what I said about it in the other thread.

@Raita

So, this thread, and especially your and @jerwin’s pictures of your shelves made me want to showcase my own pathetic collection, and in order to do that, I had to organize it a little. And then I just couldn’t do that (mentally - it was perfectly possible physically) without organizing my whole room and all my files and papers and craft supplies and the millionsof notebooks and all the little things I’ve collected for art projects. So that took at least 3 hours. I think, I wasn’t looking at the time. After I was done, I started scrubbing the kitchen. I’m a bit obsessive like that - when I start, I can’t stop. And I did this all while in withdrawals from opioid recovery!

So, I guess I should thank you and this thread for getting me started on something productive.

Getting off opioids also makes me want to also improve myself and my enviroment. Cleaning is the first step. I’ve been planning to go get a hair cut, because I hate lenght right now - I used to have dreadlocks (I know, very hippy of me) and then I got bored of the style and just shaved my head. I was so afraid of how I’d look like, but I found out that I look great with really short hair. So I have to get that done. Then I need new clothes. I feel like my current clothes don’t really show my personality. I have a gift card to H&M, but aside from that, I’ll be buying my clothes from UFF, which is like the Finnish version of Goodwill.

This is a new start, in so many ways.

I just wish I could get my appetite back, because I’m barely getting 500 calories a day. though at the same time, the borderline-anorexic in me is excited about not having to eat because I’m usually prone to all kinds of goodies. I’m at normal weight right now, but I’ve many times been underweight and probably will be soon (if not already - I don’t have a sccale). It’s sad that I love it.

But good news are that I’ve been able to sleep lately pretty well. Almost normally. I also haven’t been feeling so cold - actually, I feel really hot right now. I’m also pretty certain that I’ve got the flu, because my boyfriend has it and if one of us gets sick, the other one does as well - we just can’t avoid it.