Gold skull armchair

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Perfect chair for this guy:


For that kind of money I want an ottoman lower-jaw.

Better yet make it a recliner where the top teeth become buck-teeth with the flip of a lever.

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If it doesn’t spin for an awesome reveal. . . what’s the point?


I am not convinced this is a real thing.

Does this help?

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I don’t need the gold plating. A simple chrome finish would do me just fine. I’m not out for world domination; I just need to upstage my bass player.


Sounds like quite the competitive affair - how long have you been playing together?

As a Bond villain, It suits me well. However, the fabric color choices are limited, and my cat’s white fur shows up all too well on it. 3 stars.

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You know, I would get one with my powerball winnings, but I’d feel like I needed a cat to go with it. I hate cats. I know a tiger would be appropriately supervillianesque, but how about a wolf instead- I’m way more of a dog person. Maybe a bear. I’ve always looked up to Roosevelt.

I love that comment so much I want to have sex with it.

With the comment, that is. Not the bass player. Nobody wants to have sex with a bass player.


Don’t you have servile henchmen for upholstery cleaning duties? Ones that you occasionally motivate by having one you deem unsatisfactory ceremonially scotch-garded to death?


…they don’t? Why ever not? Bassists are hawt, and natural poon-magnets. Somebody once asked Dusty Hill if bass players got more tail, and he responded, “No… better quality. Ask Bill Wyman.”

Should be self-evident.


23 years, on and off. But he suffers from an excess of charisma.


Wow, that’s a long time. Did he instinctively know to keep upstage of you, or did it take him a few gigs to get wind of your Dr. Pepper habit?

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Well, since I’m the drummer, I’m typically upstage of him anyway. But he’s the only one of us willing to sing (which does not actually imply that he’s the best suited for it, though when it comes down to it, I guess he actually is).

I just want to get a wee bit of his spotlight, without having to resort to this:

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