Happy Mutants travel happy with this travel bidet

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/05/31/happy-mutants-travel-happy-wit.html

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Not sure what would be more embarrassing, the TSA searching my carry on bag and finding my Fleshlight or my travel bidet?

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So this is a water pick for your butthole…

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I’m travel bideting right now!

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Not the worst idea for an emergency bag loadout, for those so inclined. The fewer depletable supplies, the better, and if you can’t find water at least good enough to wash with you’ve got problems anyway.

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Hm, this addresses the installation and the water temperature comtrol puzzles quite nicely. Finally, a problem that the BB store migjt actually solve for me!

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The exterior is in dire need of some means of emphasizing, “Oh goodness no, this is not a water bottle, you probably do not want to drink from this.”

There is some clever linguistic challenge here. Makes me think of this:

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Access to water isn’t always easy, so relying on that to wipe yourself isn’t always feasible. especially if the little bit if water you have could be used to hydrate yourself vs cleaning your ass. I’d rather drink it. If desperate anyone can wipe with some leaves, plant fiber, discarded paper… almost anything. Won’t be pleasant but comfort isn’t the name of the game during an emergency.

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A borrowed image from the squattie potty might work, for tbose in the know. A glittery multicolred ice cream cone. For those not in the know, “butt water” might work.

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In a stunning bout of synchronicity, I received this exact item in my Amazon shipment yesterday and gave it a first try this morning.

Verdict: thumbs solidly down.

The issues:

  1. the spray just doesn’t have enough oomph to be totally effective
  2. from every orientation, it’s LEAKY, dammit.
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Better than flossing it, I suppose.

We ordered an Aquabot a few weeks ago, one of the water bottles that you pump up and use to take camping showers, or just mist yourself to keep cool. We liked it, although the only thing it didn’t do well was accommodate actual drinking. This could be a new use though…

More to the point, since shattafs are almost a requirement for devout Muslims (cf istinjah) the question is whether the TSA will put you on their blacklist.

Now I’m wondering if the simplest solution might just be a lab wash bottle. It’s got an angled spout and I can cut the internal “straw” short so that it can be squirted while held upside down. Just $2.48 on Amazon. Hmmm…

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Travel bidet to you!

Travel bidet to you!

Travel bidet, Happy Mutants.

Travel bidet to you!

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Sounds better than getting a turkey baster

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