Help this half-onion in a plastic bag beat Trump's Twitter-follower count

boing
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I support the half-onion’s right to set ambitious personal goals, but unless it has a good job or a sizable inheritance to draw down, it’s not going to be able to afford to buy the kind of Twitterbot following that Trump has.

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22

It really should be a canned ham…

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I bet they could boost the numbers by leaving it out of the bag, and updating the picture every, say, month or so.

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I’d rather not. We’ve only just got rid of him (not that his replacement is any better).

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I wish that I still had that can of ‘Ox Penis Soup’ I brought back from China to post here to raise your Hams but, this will do:

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Not that well-known tinned product, abbreviated from spiced pork and ham, then?

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Dude! I follow that baggie! He’s hilarious!

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I see your fish assholes and raise you a Chicken Asshole House:

I have eaten this and it is exactly what it sounds like.

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Maybe we should just keep pointing out that Obama still has nearly four times the followers of Trump?

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I send DT 2 tweets a day telling him to fucking build something or stop destroying our planet or something .

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Yep, came here to point that out:

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32

That onion will age better than his presidency too.

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33

I fully expect it to be the substance of the next official White house press conference.

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Small plastic bag?

It always sounds very odd to my English ears to hear grown-up adults saying “baggie”.

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I hear it used all the time to mean small sandwich bag.

I usually think it’s something for pot.

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Just hope it doesn’t turn orange.

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I recall an NPR story many years ago, about how years before some Los Angeles Chinese restaurant menus listed dishes, but with corrupted names. Example: An attempt at “Rump Roast” yielded “Pump Pork”. Not a joke.

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The onion may have the higher IQ.

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That’s just a bad translation. Google “Engrish” and you will see a lot of them.

The above menu item is not really a bad translation,* just a politically incorrect one. I ordered this in a Korean restaurant, and they brought out big huge plate piled high with chicken assholes. Crunchy, chewy, rubbery chicken assholes. I made it about halfway through before giving up.

*I guess the “house” part is a bad translation, because that just comes out of nowhere, but we are talking about literal chicken assholes here, so that part is correct.

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So … if The Onion starts reporting on The Half Onion … is that fake news? Alt facts? What?

1 Like