High tech device allows men to breastfeed babies

A whole new meaning to man-boobs.

2 Likes

Or there’s always domperidone…

I may be wrong but the shininess makes it look like hard plastic. I think silicone would be a better choice.

But how about an implanted one? A bag a father could get that can be filled from the outside with needle & syringe, connected by tubing to pores on the male nipple. Or even better, a breast implant that exudes hormones to make the male breast lactate.

I sense a business opportunity. “Fathers, get a pair of Lactaids today.”

I know; that trademark is taken.

2 Likes

Nothing powers comedy like taking things to their logical extreme!

3 Likes

There are devices to supposedly simulate being in labour for men by applying electric shocks to the stomach area. Yeah, no thanks. I can now say from experience that, while likely nothing tops actually giving birth in terms of unpleasantness, you’ll have your share of hardships during pregnancy, birth and care for a newborn as a man as well, don’t you worry. No need for torture devices.

This probably also comes with a sundress which is nicely filled out by their product.

Next best thing? Stretch a teat over your hooch bottle.

Funnily enough I did not immeditely find any relevant images.
But there was this.
teat

Cannot provide source - Pinterest, which I appear to have a successful blocker for.

… including adult-sized nappies?

I’m expecting to be a single father (via surogacy) sometime this next year… and I’ve been thinking of about this and came to the same conclusion… bottle feeding with an open or off shirt for skin contact. Looking forward to it.

This invention… can’t decide if its dumb or gross. Why not both?

2 Likes

I wouldn’t be surprised if Hello Kitty vodka was real. I mean if this is…

then why can’t it be?

2 Likes

I think there’s a word for that (and rubbish like this ‘device’): Dross?

And serendipitously, I just came across this.
https://gfycat.com/wildhideouseft

1 Like

Why call it a Father’s Assistant? They should call it MilkeroTM. Since Juicero is long gone…

1 Like

I don’t know how to feel about this. I am sitting here with boobs out to try and let the wounds heal from her tiny sharp teeth that dig into my flesh when she feeds. I can kind of see why someone might think that this was a good idea. Maybe someone who doesn’t know much about babies. But how it got all the way through to production is perplexing.

6 Likes

They’ll sell this but steralize transsexuals…Okey, dokey.

But how it got all the way through to production is perplexing.

Japan

1 Like

If you want to lactate take the drug domperidone, it works for men, too!

1 Like

If that’s an oral drug, no way. I don’t want to lactate out of all of my pores.

apparently it’s art

The author says: the bottles areNOT for sale, they are part of an art exhibition. This is an art project to raise social awareness on topics such as alcohol abuse by teens, alcohol abuse by pregnant women, the disinterest of some parents towards their children (abandoned for days between toys and video games), how far marketers can go to gain the attention of their younger customers. There are no commercial purposes. Always remember, please, the minimum age for drinking alcohol in your country (if you do not know, see this table) and drink responsibly.

I suspect that this

comes closest to being a real product.

This Chardonnay immediately shows far more intense and intriguing flavors than other comparative wines; aromatics of vanilla bean, light, toasted hazelnut, and lemon sorbet burst out of the glass. On the palate, initial crisp flavors of green apple and biscotti contrast with a hint of grapefruit, toasted marshmallow, and fresh lime on the finish. Rich, mouth-filling layers are balanced by crisp and clean acidity. Aged on American oak staves for only six months, the fruit character is subtly augmented by oak aging to create a style with depth and broad appeal.
Pair with grilled halibut and a grapefruit salsa, or a half dozen barbequed oysters and a fresh squeeze of lemon.
Blend: 77% Chardonnay, 10% Chenin Blanc, 8% Pinot Grigio, 5% Viognier

and afterwards

1 Like

That link is out of date. If anyone is interested:

It has the wrong information for Scotland (No drinking age restrictions in private locations), England and Wales (children can legally drink in private at age 5). I think if you get caught giving a six year old a full bottle of vodka you will still end up arrested for child abuse though. Give them a lemonade shandy and nobody can complain legally.

1 Like

Oh but they will.