High tech device allows men to breastfeed babies

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/03/21/high-tech-device-allows-men-to.html

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Wait…what? How anyone who has dealt with a fussy infant in need of sleep would possibly think this is an improvement over a bottle is a bit of a mystery to me. I guess folks love apps?

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Do they make an adult size, that say might hold Whiskey? Asking for a friend…

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It’s a baby bottle frontpack? Is this some art statement? How is this supposed to help the guy sleep? Or is it supposed to let the mom sleep? How are you supposed to clean this thing? Cleaning baby bottles is one of the biggest hassles of using them. The coup de grâce is how it has some horribly over-complicated app integration that I can guarantee is not going to work because babies don’t work the way the app designers think they do. Or your baby doesn’t behave the same as the app designer’s baby because every baby is unique.

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Er… bottle feed from breast shaped robo boobs.

What a let-down!

I’m sure once it simulates the discomfort and difficulty of breastfeeding it will be more widely accepted. It’s not like a non-lactating parent couldn’t have skin-on-skin time while feeding with a bottle.

And “an app that facilitates a better, visual understanding of the infant’s condition.” I hope the interface isn’t like the Oregon Trail, because I’m wondering if just a few hours of parenting classes and some time with the infant would solve knowing what the “infant’s condition is”. This is coming from a family that tracked every pumping, nursing, bottle, medication, sleep, diaper, etc. with an app for our kids for the first year. We still use the app to track medications given and what time.

On the other hand, anything that helps get both parents involved in care is great, but I think it may be trying to solve a problem in a more complicated way than is needed.

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Voice over: Camping with my buddies was never the same…

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I know! Think of the future implications on the poor children’s psyche. My Dog, what are we becoming!

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Yeah, no kidding. I was thinking actual breastfeeding for men, not a badly shaped bottle that keeps your baby away from your body.

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You guessed correctly.

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Somebody will be offended.

I dunno - I fed my kid probably more than her mom - at least after she went back to work. This seems more trouble than it’s worth.

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Look, I respect what women go thru when it comes to babies, I really, really do. But do we really need a device that tries to replicate that for men?

tenor%20(45)

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This will probs be used by people with some weird kinks.

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The only thing that would make this better is if it only works with overpriced pouches of formula. Then the company can go belly-up in a year leaving consumers with a useless robo-boob, save for the efforts of an intrepid band of boob-hackers.

Seriously, though. I’m a trans woman, with all the potential that brings for extremely complicated feelings around pregnancy/childbirth/breastfeeding/etc. My wife and I have 3 kids and I did plenty of bottle-feeding, often with my shirt off for skin-on-skin contact. There is no way this device could be an improvement on that experience.

It’s too bad real breasts don’t come with an app, though. /s

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Perhaps whiskey… but more likely *moloko vellocet.

*Ref: Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange

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As a father who bottle feed my children, NO!

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“Anything for a buck.”

When I bottle fed my kids, I kept a soft blanket over my shoulder that I would lean them against. They would grab on to the soft blanket. Never once did they stop, pull back, and say, “Da’fuq?! This an’t a boobie!”

Seriously, this really looks like a solution for a problem that isn’t a problem.

Not this guy.

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It’s just not the same.

I think they’ve confused fatherhood with cross-dressing.

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