Sperm extraction machine yours for $13,000


Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/04/24/sperm-extraction-machine-yours.html


“Man builds blow job machine” and “Sperm extraction machine yours for $13,000”; what are you trying to tell us, Mr Beschizza?


He’s building one with the safe?


$13,000 seems like a lot of money but if you consider how often over a lifetime you might find yourself producing sperm samples, I’m sure this thing practically pays for itself.


When and why are sperm samples needed “on the spot”? I’m genuinely curious.

Also, “on the spot” – heh heh…heh.


I must say, when held against the competitor sex bot/sex doll concepts, this seems to be a better solution, with engineering efforts focused in the right areas. As with other task-based robot projects, trying to replicate the entire human just because that task is traditionally performed by a human, is a waste of resources. Get the specific task right; Turn the valve, traverse the rubble, stack the box, extract the sperm. A combination of good old fashioned porn with a well-designed main sperm extraction function will remain much more efficient and cost effective than androids, who will remain in various patches of the uncanny valley for decades.

$13,000 seems a little steep. Perhaps insurance will cover them for certain ailments… Although I wonder what the certified pre-owned market will look like in a decade or so…


Well. . . it looks more modern than the one in “A Boy And His Dog” that seemed to be causing Don Johnson a great deal of pain. So that’s a plus, I guess.


“Sperm-extraction machine” seems like a nickname used by Trump, Ailes, and O’Reilly when they’re in the steam room talking about conquests and trying not to look at each others’ junk.


How much to add on the prostate stimulator? I’m asking for a friend…




[note 6 AM sarcasm]


Afterwards, it said a few things:
01010111 01101000 01111001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01100100 01100001 01101101 01101110 00100000 01110001 01110101 01101001 01100011 01101011 00111111 00100000 01001001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100101 00111111 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01110101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01110011 01110100 01100001 01101110 01100100 00101110



I love that this is supposedly less embarrassing. “We need a sperm sample. Oh, don’t worry! You won’t have to jerk off! Just go stick your dick in that robot over there.”


Someone will make a post about how cyberpunk it is


I imagine it’s less of a “right now” issue than a “right her so they don’t die” issue. So donation and fertility related testing.




Okay… after seeing the robot blowjob post first I am not ruling out there was LSD in the coffee today.


What? I imagine you meant “right here,” but I still don’t get it.



There will be punishment.