Machine collects semen samples




So insurance will pay for this?


This video was brought to you by the bastard child of 4chan and The Onion.


I have to say, CNN may not be the ideal media choice here.


“…That won’t stop 'til 50 gallons are withdrawwwwn.”



Sperm bank ATM.


Deus ex machina




I want to know about the self-clean cycle – please tell me there is a self-clean cycle. And I really want to know about the interlocks preventing the self-clean cycle from being activated while it is in use.


Oh, I dunno. Anderson certainly has his following. Kate Bolduan is pretty cute IMHO, and honestly, I could sort of imagine hate-f–king Erin Burnett.


Now that’s auto-erotic.


So many questions …

  • is getting a tube job from a bot considered cheating?
  • does it have a voice command function (faster, harder!)?
  • how much money (and fun) went into R&D … and how many hand jobs could have been bought for that? Seriously, how many ‘extractions’ can the machine do a day? I bet a squadron of skilled massage therapists can beat that any time.


I see what you did there.




I didn’t. Thanks.


Just curious… .is the machine intended to be used in that open hallway?


What happens if this thing backfires?


Check out the Auto-Colonoscopy machine over in the next booth!


automatic tug machine?