Hollywood loves pairing Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, and Scarlett Johansson with older men

The situation is different because in general the sexes in that age group have different wants needs and desires from a potential mate.

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Oh. So now youā€™re saying that itā€™s ā€œnatural,ā€ and that it matches reality, for these movies to portray young women romantically involved with much older men?

Do tell ā€“ what are these different ā€œwants needs and desires from a potential mateā€ that most real young women and older men supposedly have?

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Hold on, Iā€™ll reply with my dissertation on the dating habits of 50 somethings after work, but I think you know what Iā€™m getting at here.

Are you getting at stereotypes about ā€œgold diggersā€ and ā€œsugar daddiesā€ and so on? Cuz if so, yeah, those are stereotypes, and not at all a ā€œgeneralā€ ruleā€¦

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No, we donā€™t ā€œknow what youā€™re getting at hereā€.

You seem to be suggesting that outdated gender stereotypes have a legitimate scientific basis. Which outdated stereotypes are you referring to in particular, and what is the research to back up your assumptions?

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The age discrepancies are one issue. But the fact that these young actresses are cast in older roles also sets a standard of youthful beauty that actual real world 30-something women then have to try to live up to. Sucks.

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??err no. Please insert words directly into mouth> :grinning:

Iā€™m saying the single 50 something females Iā€™ve meet are not nearly as interested in pressuring someone in their 20ā€™s as men in the same situation.

Stereotype, maybe, but stereotypes do have an origin.

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Yeah: socialization.

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I didnā€™t do that; it was a question.

Ah, so the movies reflect ā€œrealityā€ that way. Oy, where to startā€¦actually, why bother to start, with someone whoā€™s intent on proving the practical viability of stereotypes?

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There was an interview on NPR with OKCupid developer where he talked about how men will constantly look at 20 year old women, no matter what their age - pretty interesting and kinda gross:

http://www.npr.org/2014/09/06/345884282/online-dating-stats-reveal-a-dataclysm-of-telling-trends

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These charts look a little better if you donā€™t count Woody Allen movies.

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Just curious. Why ā€˜grossā€™. I know this site is pretty open about a lot of things, and if I were to come through and say ā€œFat people will constantly look at thin people, no matter what their size - pretty interesting and kinda grossā€ it would come off as a very assholish statement. So why the agism? I mentioned in an earlier post I date mostly girls in their 20s. Honestly, it isnā€™t my first choice ā€“ Iā€™d rather have someone closer to my age that understands touchstones in my life because they have gone through them ā€“ but at the same time, I skipped a LOT of the same touchstones people my age have (kids, marriage) PURPOSELY and not interested in someone having gone down that road and failed leaving meā€¦with mostly 20-somethings.

And yet I donā€™t find it gross. Its like saying older folks are disgusting. There are a lot of things Iā€™m not attracted to that I wouldnā€™t consider ā€˜grossā€™. Just curiousā€¦

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ā€œUsedā€ hookers? How about ā€œhiredā€ hookers? Do you ā€œuseā€ a cleaning person or a plumber?

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Personally I think the first two ScarJo examples are a little unfair, since the films address the age difference as notable, strange, and-- in the Billy Bob example-- inappropriate and unnerving. I donā€™t mind age being a factor that is addressed in romantic relationships on screen. Iā€™m more frustrated by the notion that itā€™s completely normal for a 22 year old woman to be consistently paired with 50 year old men as though itā€™s de riguer.

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And in Age of Ultron, while Scarlett may be a certain age, Natasha the character is much older, yet looks young.

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What exactly does that mean? Silver Linings Playbook was really about the Koch family or somesuch?

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Itā€™d be one thing it it were just people who felt that experience-wise a younger woman fit their emotional needs - in that case weā€™d see a spectrum of ages for both men and women matching against a spectrum down and up the age scale. Itā€™s another thing that men of all ages are looking at the 20 year olds - even though as it states in the article they know realistically that they arenā€™t likely to actually be able to date someone that young.

My mom and aunt have both been on these dating sites. As women in their 60ā€™s and 70ā€™s, their pickings are very slim. My mom did find a new guy, though, who is crazy about her. So, even with all their faults they seem to match people up.

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And I agree. There are a lot of older folks that want to have a no strings attachment as they step out on their current partner. And there are older folks that have never emotionally matured to have a real relationship. I HOPE I donā€™t fit either of these!

I do think 20-somethings look better. Hell, I never exercised a day in my life when I was that young and I looked a hell of a lot better than I do today when Iā€™m working out at least an hour or two a day! Its just a natural fact! If I was going for no-strings attached, that would be my primary goalā€¦and it seems to be most peopleā€™s fantasy to have no-strings relationships. Probably why older guys go for this. My last long term girlfriend (we broke up in October after several yearsā€¦I couldnā€™t stand her being on the road 6 months of the year, and she couldnā€™t stand the thought that Iā€™d give her a half white baby when she wanted something purebred!!! True story!!!)ā€¦the last within 3 years of my age. I loved looking at her far more than someone with a perfect body.

But again, sometimes one has to go where the singles are. And the least crazy singles are in their 20s. Knowing from both guys and girls my ageā€¦dating someone our age on EITHER sideā€¦they all seem to be damaged goods. I couldnā€™t even imagine what it would be like for your mom and aunt. I have 60 year olds sending me notes on OKCupid all the time! It is usually pretty awkward and it makes me wonder if I come off the same to the younger folks, but it doesnā€™t offend me or disgust me! And USUALLY I write back because if they take the chance, Iā€™m not going to be a jerk about it :stuck_out_tongue: Glad your mom found someone though!

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