How a 'Tornado Omelette' is cooked

[Cryptic]

Not owning a spurdle, I often stir my oatmeal with a single large cooking chopstick. It works very well.

[SenorSchaffer]

So, I’m the only one that eats their pizza with chopsticks?

[dorgar]

Scissors. What are you, a heathen?

[anon94804983]

An excellent idea for contact lens wearers.

[bambusa]

The tornado version is runny when plated, but self-cooks by the eating phase.

Working as a carpenter, if no food tool is packed to eat lunch with, it is easier to make chopsticks than a fork.

(Tornado translates as screw, twisted; not strictly as a long stringlike weather phenomenon.)

[SteveBosman]

I couldn’t get over using the plastic spatula for the rice - it looked like it had burnt.

[DreamboatSkanky]

@DonatellaNobody

The problem is, Westerners don’t know how to use chopsticks. Like, literally, at all. I’ve seen people try to use them as skewers, or one in each hand like salad tongs, or with the tips of the chopsticks close to the tips of their fingers, or not breaking them apart and using the chopsticks like a clothespin, or so many other bad examples.

…

@DonatellaNobody

People criticize the way I use forks and spoons all the time. They actually take time out of their meal to tell me that the utensil goes in my right hand and not my left, but I don’t care, it works fine for me.

[DonatellaNobody]

Nope.

The thing is, I don’t blame an entire culture for me being left handed.

Except when I do.

[ChuckV]

@dorgar

Scissors.

Cobra Eats Pizza

[anon67050589]

How did I miss that thread entirely?

[DonatellaNobody]

I could have sworn you were one of the main people in that thread, but I misremembered.

[DonatellaNobody]

Things that are sneakily right-handed

Chopsticks, forks, and paper towels. Very sneakily.

[RickMycroft]

One of these would get the job done in a jiffy:

[Wanderfound]

@DonatellaNobody

They actually take time out of their meal to tell me that the utensil goes in my right hand and not my left, but I don’t care, it works fine for me.

That’s a US-specific thing.

Eating utensil etiquette | Fork etiquette

[Flossaluzitarin]

Dear Kuyongding Food Stall 528.
I appreciate the way my tornado omelet sounded like a freight train, chugged past over 20 minutes, and popped my ears out with a pressure drop like never before, but the faceful of shattered timbers was too much. Please take it down a notch.

[dorgar]