How can women disrupt male speech domination? (the sequel)


#1

I am not here with answers, I am here to listen. How do women disrupt male speech domination?

Rules: don’t be a jerk, don’t be self-entitled, and be constructive.


#2

Perhaps we should have a “citizenship” class in school. Nothing big, just one period or so per week. Topics would include how our governments are elected, how laws are made, how to enact change though grassroots organizations or through lobbying, etc.
The twist would be that the class would be run under something like Robert’s Rules of Order.
This would allow the students to get familiarized with letting other people speak without interrupting, and with respectfully exchanging ideas in general.


How can women disrupt male speech domination?
#3

Do we want to first ask how all of us can share the work of making white male norms more representative? It’s not just women who have an interest in making those sorts of changes.

And in many ways the false binary of male and female might be one of the first norms to transform.

I like this idea intuitively though I’ve had the experience in many meetings of feminist groups of hearing a strong preference expressed for pure or modified consensus models instead.


#4

Oh, absolutely. I have no particular attachment to Robert’s; I just suggested it as a system that might get people out of the habit of talking over or interrupting each other.


#6

This is to add a question because I started yakking before I realized “sequel” meant @ChickieD’s thread. So here goes.

What about the businessy advice in Michael Watkins, The First 90 Days (esp. chapters 6 - 8)?

Also, the I Don’t Care If You Like It chapter of Tina Fey’s Bossypants? Over, under, through? She rose and took over an infamously bro-dominated crew.

Okay. Apologies if not helpful.


How can women disrupt male speech domination?
#7

Is this a sequel, or more of a reboot with an all-male cast? 'cause it sure seems like a sausage party right now.


#8

Could you please explain a bit more? Are you asking how to get equal time speaking, how to be heard, how to persuade others, how to interrupt/interject someone, how to get men to speak less or something else entirely?


#9

Ah shoot @japhroaig, this is a honeypot, isn’t it?


#10

Probably best to read this thread to start.


#11

Maybe that thread could reopen, and this one could be attached to it?


#12

I’d like to see it reopen and people pick up there. I think grafting a disjointed thread onto it does a disservice to the conversation that was already in progress.


#13

Ahh. That is much much clearer.

There is no single universal technique to persuading someone in a position of authority who doesn’t listen to accept your ideas, especially in a group discussion. Modern rhetoric and persuasion is something that you can learn though and get better at. There are a lot of good books on the subjects and learning it is extremely useful even outside of boss-subordinate situations.

Getting your boss to fundamentally change their behavior so that they take suggestions from people besides you is a much harder task which frankly, I’m not sure a subordinate can do. The only thing I’ve done that has ever worked is to get someone they respect to point out their behavior and mentor them. Even then, you’re talking about a major shift in their conversational style. That takes time and they have to want to do it.


#14

Aw, that looked promising! I can’t see the excised posts (since they are now, y’know, excised) but I suspect they were full of the usual MRA nonsense. Or similar.

Could @IronEdithKidd and @Mindysan33 and @Missy_Pants and of course @ChickieD resume the conversation? I love their insights in any context, and I hate to see such a good-faith examination of this issue be cut off at the knees.

I, of course, have an anecdote or two to contribute, but I’m gonna shut up first for a bit. :wink:


#15

I just posted in meta to see if the original thread could be reopened:

ETA: @ChickieD, @IronEdithKidd @Mindysan33 , @Missy_Pants I think if any or all of you wanted to come in and disrupt this conversation, the rest of us here would likely appreciate that too.


#16


#17

It’s how to get some men from speaking over, and down to, women, especially (as the orignal post suggested) in professional situations.


#18

Not sure I can find the right emoji: :bomb:


#19