Responding to the original post, I have a practical suggestion, which is to check out The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense system developed by Suzette Haden Elgin, if you aren’t already familiar with it. (I mentioned it recently in another thread.)
She was a linguist and a professor. I think she did amazing, useful work with this, and I wish more people knew about it.
She explains how to identify and respond to harmful patterns in verbal interactions, when speakers are using the English language. (Note that she defines “verbal abuse” not as yelling and swearing—she likens that to physical abuse, like using words as fists—but rather the negative language patterns that break down communication and cause untold stress.)
There are a number of titles by her on the subject. Success with the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense is geared toward professional interactions, and the examples given are of workplace situations. From the blurb on amazon: “This book, the fourth in the famous “Gentle Art” series, continues and extends the revolutionary system of language behavior. It focuses specifically on the communications skills required of executives and professionals.”
Anyone who uses the English language to communicate with other human beings would benefit from learning about her techniques and putting them into practice.
