I think it’s important to know that everything changes, sooner or later. It could be that the situation changes, or something in you changes, or both, but nothing stays the same. That’s good news!
Sending good vibes to you from Minneapolis. (I too kind of wish you were in a big city—so many services available, and so many possibilities for finding peer groups. But I do think happiness is possible regardless of conditions.)
It sounds to me as though you’re in a situation of ongoing verbal abuse. I highly recommend checking out The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin, if you aren’t already familiar with it. She was a linguist and a professor. She teaches how to recognize and counter (or avoid, before it escalates) verbal attacks (for English-speaking people). What I learned from her books almost-literally saved my life in a very bad work situation.
There are many books/titles by her on the subject—the first one I read was Success with the Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense, which is geared toward dealing with verbal put-downs in workplace situations. Other titles involve other specific areas (like for health care situations, gender differences, dealing with teenagers, etc.). But as far as I know, all of her books on the topic will give at least an introduction to identifying the specifics of verbal abuse and learning ways to deal with it. If your public library has any one of her titles on the subject, I think it would be well worth checking out. Here’s a pretty good look on Google Books.
(Some BBers might recognize Suzette Haden Elgin as an author of science fiction. Sad to say, she passed away about a year ago.)
Again, sending you best wishes.
