Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/07/16/i-should-have-cocktailed.html
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I bet he was cocktailed when he wrote that.
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I’m cocktailed right now.
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Paging @Papasan to show us how it’s done! 
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As I understand it: he was always cocktailed.
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Not, of course forgetting Dr. Dan Streetmentioner’s Time Traveler’s Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations, and the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional willan have on-cocktailen fore-when.
Plus respectful tip o’ the hat to Douglas Adams, of course.
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Add to that the Japanese “ググる”/“guguru” (“to Google”) and German “gegoogelt” (“Googled”).
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The only tense to use when your aim is to cocktail a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. Or to be cocktailed by one.
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this is on tv right now.
kismet.
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Hmm … not sure which part of ‘cocktail’ conjugates. Maybe it’s:
I cocktail
He cockstail
They cockedtail
We were cockingtail
Nah - F.Scott was probably right first time.
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“I asked her if she’d like a cocktail. She said Yes - so I told her one.”
< rimshot >
Thank you. I’m here all week. Try the veal.
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1] Get Drunk
2] Do shit while getting drunk
3] Tell story to drunk people
The End
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Obligatory…
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The spelling is off. Conjugate ‘cockfail’ instead.
‘Cocktailest thou’
name of my new indy band.
