How the Paranoid Rich will eat themselves


#1

Great article on www.standard.co.uk about the rich “protecting themselves” against intrusion at home.

There are so very many gems I can’t even begin to list, but I loved this one at first glance:

Valuable artworks can be injected with tiny microchips linked to the home’s security system. If they are moved without warning, they automatically trigger a lockdown of the house and the police are alerted … As soon as you take the painting away from the wall the chip triggers a camera to look at it. If something is wrong, an alarm goes off and the doors to the room lock automatically so the intruder has nowhere to go. You can put these chips on hanging art or statues or anything.

So just thinking about that - thief trapped in a room with your valuable painting? What will they do?

‘Goddamnit!’ smash tear rip destroy

What do they have to lose?!


#2

Good point.

That level of security: that’s when the expensive item owns YOU, instead of the other way around.


#3

It’s bedtime for democracy; this is just another symptom of obscene wealth disparity.


#4

How about owner trapped in a room? How about every damn week? Alarm companies try to hide the fact, but police say alarm systems generate about 95% false positives.


#5

Articles like this remind me of that part in The Good Earth where the peasants revolt and the wealthy of the city are invaded by the poor who lived all around them.


#6

I’d always thought the peasants would revolt with pitchforks and torches. Given this article, I don’t think they’ll need to. There’ll be hundreds of thousands of Howard Hugheses hidden away in safe rooms. They’ll simply die out.


#7

Interesting. No mention of on-site electrical generation, on-site potable water wells, and not a peep about ventilation systems. Weak links, all. I’d bet all these fancy security devices default to ‘close’ or ‘lock’ if the power is cut, too. Given a full peasant revolt, those panic rooms will serve as their tombs.


#8

One could even imagine clever members of the peasantry are flogging this stuff to them … !


#9

Ah, yes, I have the perfect model for a person of your refinement. The Amontillado System is the finest offered. Your neighbors will nickname you Fortunado and you will forever rest in peace knowing that you are secure within the walls.


#10

And should you wish, elegant sire, to truly express the artistry of the fascinating depths of your distinguished tastes, you might upgrade to the potentially disconcertingly expensive “Ducal” model; complete with self-sealing doors.


#11

Unless something radical happens to capitalism within the next 16 years, I think I just found my high-paying, send the kid to uni with no debt, retirement gig!


#12

I have smartphone monitored cameras at my home.

One of the cameras caught the crazy lady across the street decapitating my ornamental maple.

It’s actually re- budding now nicely, but the frost will most likely finish what she started. Then she will have to replace it.


#13

Flippin 'eck - who doesn’t love Maples??!


#14

I say the punishment should fit the crime: decapitate her, just like she did to your beautiful tree!


#15

She suffers from profound mental health…but in a just world…


#16

What a strange thing to do. I feel bad for her as well as the maple (round here it is usually stupid kids).

But I do have a suggestion. Decorative nettles. Or perhaps…


#17

Before we got the camera she scratched our car and bashed the mirror and tore up shrubs and would continually scatter glass bits behind our tires.

Nieghbours would see her but nobody would come forward.

She used to work for CRA ( Canada’s IRS) and when we first moved in, our garbage bags would go missing from the curb occasionally.

I realised eventually she was doing forensic investigation on our refuse.

She knew our full names, billing and so on.

Crazy bitch.


#18

Dude, get a triffid.


#19

Arms race…
Arms race?
Arms race.


#20

This is someone who needs professional intervention, ASAP. For her sake, as well as yours. Maybe start out non-criminal, by contacting some sort of elder services (not sure what programs are in your area).