“How to become gluten intolerant”


#1

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#2

The “Vegan Police” approve of this message…


#3

While I agree with the attention-seeking crappiness of many non-gluten people, I’ve found that I am really having digestion issues with some things (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FODMAP) and have been discussing with friends (not strangers). Is this the wrong thing to do?


#4

That causes me no end of annoyance at the grocery store. With things like orange juice labeled as “Gluten Free”. I mean what the fuck people how the hell does citrus product have gluten in it? Have juices been doctored with wheat in the past? Having worked tech support for all these years I really shouldn’t be surprised at how stupid people are but that is whole new levels of just how freaking dumb are you.


#5

Sounds like if you think you’re really having issues with IBS etc due to FODMAPs, then you should consult your doctor and look into developing a diet to see if you improve.

The issue with all the fake gluten free people is that they’re lay-diagnosing themselves, and then making life difficult for people who aren’t willing to call the fakers out on their bullshit. Clinically diagnosable gluten intolerance is not common. The clinical diagnosis rate just doesn’t match up with all the people claiming gluten intolerance.

I have a friend who can’t eat red meat. She has gallbladder issues that make digesting meat painful because she doesn’t produce the right enzymes for it anymore. But she doesn’t talk about it unless you ask, and she just orders vegetarian, or skips the meal when she can’t avoid red meat. That’s a lot more polite than raising a big stink over finding gluten in [gasp] bread of all things. Then using the gluten intolerance excuse to make people change their menus and crap like that.


#6

Now I’m just imagining gluten-free copier toner.

Now 200% more expensive, and 1000% more self-righteous.


#7

I once heard a blowhard in WholePaycheck bloviating that no human should ever eat gluten, and that all people are gluten intolerant, and that’s why everyone is so sick today. Honestly.


#8

There’s always a relevant comic.

(For those of you playing along at home- take a drink.)


#9

Is this clip from a try-out reel for Portlandia?


#10

If gluten was really the most horrible protein on the planet for humans to consume, we would have reduced the amount of gluten in grains during crop domestication. There is no evidence that is the case (at least in my literature searching). Considering that in the last 10,000 years humans have evolved the ability to consume milk as adults at least three times, adaptations to high elevations at least a couple of times, and even the ability to tolerate high levels of arsenic at least once, I doubt that gluten is an actual health issue for the vast majority of gluten free folks. Ranks right up there with anti-vaccination thinking.


#11

I wouldn’t be surprised…

I think they’re just trying to cash in on this, but it is helpful for people to realize which foods are xyz-free, and which ones would be xyz-free but have xyz added.

I also think the difficulty of getting tested contributes to the popularity of self-diagnosis. My doctor wouldn’t authorize allergy testng for any but the most common/most often tested-for allergens. I have to self-diagnose and haven’t been able to identify all my allergens.


#12

They probably also aren’t doing any favors for the small number of people who actually are gluten intolerant, because now whenever most people hear “I can’t eat gluten” their reaction is less likely to be “sympathy for someone with a serious food allergy” than “eye-rolling exasperation over hippie caught up in latest health fad.”


#13

Can it be?! Is the gluten-sensitivity backlash finally starting in earnest?! *wipes tear from eye* thank the ooey-gooey gods. The avid bakers in my life were really starting to get worried when the label showed up everywhere. I can’t believe Jimmy Kimmel’s “do you even know what gluten is?” spot didn’t get the ball rolling. I guess these things just take time

The most egregious mission-creep I’ve seen so far is hand lotion, not exactly toner, but still ridiculously mis-informed. I guess I could see how someone makes that stretch, but, just, no.


#14

Chemical-free, and All-Natural really piss me off too. Also, “no preservatives”. You know what’s chemical-free? Nothing. Everything is made out of chemicals.

All-natural? What makes it any better? Keep in mind that there’s plenty of naturally bad things. When people say “all-natural” what they mean is “Biologically-derived”.

No preservatives is usually really egregious too. Every last preservative-free item I’ve ever seen either has salt in it, or high osmolarity with sugar. Those are both preservatives. In fact I’ve even seen preservative free stuff that has BHA and BHT in it.

Preservative free is a meaningless label.


#15

I keep telling myself that the next time I hear somebody ask for a gluten free something or other, that I’ll lean over to whatever poor put-upon employee is helping them and say “If they don’t want it, can I have their gluten?” but alas, I’m cripplingly confrontation-intolerant.


#16

i worked in a “health Food” grocery store for two years, and it delighted me to no end when a customer would return a preservative-free item full of bugs and mold. (shrugs shoulders)…they’re in there for a reason…


#17

New restaurant idea: all dishes are comprised of nothing but selected wavelengths of light. It’s the next logical step in veganism, man: eat what the plants eat.


#18

Come on now, the bugs are a healthy, low-impact source of protein.


#19

A clear case of Poe’s Law. People already believe in that for real.


#20

Yes, but have they figured out how to monetize that in the form of a wealth-generating New Age diet trend?