In-laws toy with woman's food allergy in horrifying letter to agony aunt

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/08/08/in-laws-toy-with-womans-food.html

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DTMFA­­

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Just like the horseradish and au jus, swap the links in the story.

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IMO advice is dead wrong. Needs to follow classic abuse GTFO protocol. This isn’t a “chat about our feelings” situation it is a “my spouse and his family are doing me physical harm” situation. He is dangerous, his mother is dangerous, you are married to a mortal enemy.

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I read this yesterday and was similarly horrified. I’ve heard of toxic family members, but this is taking things literally. Either way, “Polly’s” basic advice is sound: if you find that someone in your life is constantly gaslighting you or bullying you or otherwise abusing you, cut them out and don’t look back (I disagree that doctor’s letters or any letters of explanation are needed). Not speaking to my poisonously narcissistic stepmother since my father died is a decision I’ll never regret.

Here’s yet another story that shows that the abused person’s partner is usually at best being willfully oblivious about his family’s crappy behaviour (read through to the buried lede):

https://pastebin.com/x3N6x1ER

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I was relieved when it reached the part where the poisoning victim said she’s hired a divorce lawyer and won’t be looking back. Hopefully she can get full custody of their children. Someone willing to be a passive accomplice to a poisoner of their mother is not a fit father.

Also, hopefully the local prosecutor can get involved. Intentionally poisoning, whether or not willfully ignorant of the potentially fatal consequences, is at the very least attempted manslaughter.

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The in-laws will just get weekends like that other guy. /s

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Stay tuned for people here getting into the details of exactly which mushroom powder was used and in what amounts, because that’s the point of the story.

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Let’s pack this thread up, you’ve made the only comment that needs to be made.

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As others said, these sound like the partner is willfully staying out of it which I’d say get out of that relationship. I’m not a spiteful person but this sounds like poison attempts and I would document it, if possible get evidence because they should very well end up killing someone.

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He doesn’t have a mushroom allergy. Title should be My In-Laws Are Trying To Poison Me

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I would argue that since he encouraged her to attend family dinners where he knew his mother was trying to poison his wife, he’s an active accomplice to the crime.

Also reminds me of this horrifying story from a few years ago…

A probable cause statement used to charge Diane Staudte in 2013 indicated that she told police she poisoned her son because “he was worse than a pest,” her husband because “she hated him” and her daughter because she was unemployed and had student loans.

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That’s what made me wonder if the poisoner had moved on to a less targeted poison after the mushroom powder failed to kill her daughter-in-law.

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Divorce right away. If you can’t count on your partner to stand up for you against their parents, they are weak willed and unfit for continuing the species.

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Well, willpower and moral behavior aren’t hereditary, but I agree he’s unfit to raise children.

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Possibly trying something else and hoping it will pass for an allergy attack. “She must have accidentally ate some of the mushrooms. She probably brought the cyanide herself.”

Not too bright, but these don’t seem like bright people.

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Where did you see that part? I couldn’t find it, though I am hoping she does/did get a divorce attorney. She should also get samples of the food they make. In most states, this sort of situation would completely disqualify the Dad and his family from getting any custody and perhaps even any visitation rights (unsupervised).

These people are horrid. I love me some mushrooms and all, but they aren’t a core ingredient or anything. Food allergies generally carry minor impact (itchy throat, maybe some hives or redness) but when they are this severe you should do everything to protect the person, regardless of the “inconvenience” of not getting to have mushroom mashed potatoes. Freaking assholes.

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At the minimum, in addition to divorce and seeking full custody, hopefully the survivor will file a police report.

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He’s talking about the second story from “Ask Prudence”, where the mother-in-law was poisoning the woman’s food with some sort of diuretic.

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The links are a little disorganized, but here’s the passage I was referencing:

When nobody was looking, I switched the ramekin and pitcher between my husband’s place and mine. After my husband and I returned home, he became wracked with diarrhea, but I was not ill at all. In the morning I told him that I had switched the horseradish and au jus. He looked at me with such hatred in his eyes that I knew he had known all along what his mother was up to. His only words were to accuse me of poisoning him! I quickly packed a couple of bags and raced out of there. I have hired a divorce lawyer and I won’t be looking back.

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