How to cut a carrot





((carrot + apple) / cheesegrater) + sugar = delicious




That’s not cutting a carrot, that’s art disguised as food.


We used to practice this when I was working a professional kitchen after high school. It was a shitty kitchen so this wasn’t in anyway something we’d do for the customers or get proper training in. But when we were bored one of the other guys had a book on vegetable garnishes we’d all try. I sucked at it.


I suppose the salt is added to draw out the moisture, which would soften the carrot and presumably make it easier to separate the lattice.

Once I master this technique, I’m just one step closer to a mashed potato ski slope with carrot snow fences and asparagus trees.


These people aren’t hungry enough…


All very impressive but where’s the regulation green cutting mat for veg?


Fucking A.


I actually just cut a carrot. It took a lot less than three minutes.


I just spent about a minute and a half going “You’re pointing the blade at your fingers. The blade is pointed right at your fingers. Aaaah.”


Well, the blade is basically holding still and the carrot is moving, which helps reduce injury capability pretty significantly.



[delicious(carrot) + delicious(apple)]/cheesegrater > [delicious(carrot) + delicious(apple)]/cheesgrater + sugar


sorry, that doesn’t add up.


I think it is a balanced equation, assuming that sugar has a negative value.

I’m more worried that it doesn’t compile.


Coming in future episodes:

How to fry a frog

How to mash a mango

How to peal a peanut


Are you kidding?! During the course of that video I cut a whole bag of full of carrots!


Anyone else lose their grip on reality at 3min23sec?