How to open a soda bottle with a chop

boing
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Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2021/01/26/how-to-open-a-soda-bottle-with-a-chop.html

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Great, now my bottle cap is in the dirt and I have to drink my diabetic starter kit in one sitting.

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I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

H/t to Tom Waits, I think.

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Anyone who sabers a bottle of wine doesn’t deserve to serve wine.

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Lamb chop or pork chop?

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I think it only works with champagne, because the carbonation drives out all the micro-shards of glass you would otherwise drink.

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I like that the thing that makes you prefer this trick is the likelihood of having a soda bottle vs a champagne bottle, rather than the likelihood of having a sabre vs not having one.

Never leave home without it.

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There are numerous wine styles that are bottled under pressure. Any of them could be sabered because you’re actually using the bottle’s glass collar to break the glass, not removing the cork.

While doing this you’re also causing a massive release of the carbonation, flattening the beverage that, if done traditionally, took a tremendous amount of skill and labor to induce. This can’t be done in a way that preserves the carbonation because, as you point out, it has to discharge all of the glass along with it.

It’s a pointless technique that ruins the wine and only looks cool to anyone who doesn’t appreciate the actual value of these types of wine.

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I’ve only seen this done on non-carbonated varieties.

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Yeah, I tried that once. It worked ok, but I was so terrified of breaking it I think I finished it up by pushing the cork into the bottle. It makes sense that it would work, but I imagine doing this with a carbonated bottle could be a disaster.

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https://media.giphy.com/media/VDSN3mMwmWcTA6bRjT/giphy.gif(image larger than 4096KB)

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My understanding is that this only works with champagne and only sabres, no other kind of sword.

Of course this is the least practical way of de-corking which is the point. This technique is about champagne being the idea of “Champagne” all glitter and balloons and paying a bit more than you can afford.

A rich wanker attempts to sabre a bottle, oops fucks it up, ‘get me’ another bottle they say to the serving class and have another pop.

Love good champagne, but you gotta admit this is pure ritual and theatrics and nothing to do with the ‘drinking’.

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