How to take quality man selfies


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How to take quality man selfies

Ah, one of those Daoist koans.


Why do all selfies have to be devoid if any expression whatsoever? If the eyes weren’t open I’d think these were corpse pictures.


The Sensual Necromancer-look, always a winner.


Facial expression? Girl stuff. Men should be as hewn from rock at all times.


Prasad quotes someone from twitter: “my fav part of men selfies is how they’re always taken w the most neutral expression possible as if they’re documenting a medical condition.” I always thought that the idea of smiling in pictures was a kind of technology that wasn’t widely spread until maybe the 20s or 30s or later. All those early tintypes and daguerreotypes and whatnot have people lined up stone-faced. (Yeah, they had to sit still for five or ten minutes in the early years, but they could have smiled for five or ten minutes.) We’re going through a similar unfortunate period with camera phones where users have not reached a consensus on framing their stills and videos LANDSCAPE instead of portrait.


I suppose it would be foolish to take a self-portrait in portrait mode?


Square selfies for life. I got the tattoo to prove it.


So you still only look at media on landscape monitors then? That’s so quaint.


How to take quality man selfies.

  1. Be a man of quality.


A lot of the advice boils down to basic photography stuff, and as such, is mostly pretty solid. His expressions are a bit on the passport side of the spectrum tho.

The real treat in this article was seeing Rob looking like an escaped member of a Danish 70s prog rock band. Good use of Mad Squinty Eye in that selfie. Maybe this is the real take-home message: develop your own Mad Squinty Eye or other trademark expression? :wink:


"At age 50, every man has the face he deserves."
–George Orwell


I wouldn’t say “foolish.” Just 98% likely to be aesthetically displeasing. (I’m allowing for the possibility that some artists can break the rules and wind up with something good, but even 2% is probably estimating too high in this case.)


I was going to say it’s because people are still used to viewing video and stills presented in landscape, whether they’re filling the monitors or not. If you’re using square or triangular or oblate spheroid monitors, good on you. Get off my lawn with it.



Why is it whenever talk turns to the masculine, this song pops up in my head?


Well, few monitors are pivotable, laptops are difficult to use when turned sideways, and tablets, tablets are straight out because their keybords suck worse than a pinhole in a spaceship.

Phones with their lousy tiny displays did not even make it into the consideration set.


I’m practicing for my memento mori photograph.


critiquing your dick pics with love.

Probably NSFW, but standards can vary.


Looks pretty easy to do.