How to Win Friends and Convince People to Watch Eurovision

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/05/09/how-to-win-friends-and-convinc.html

If you don’t know what I mean when I say the word Eurovision – Greetings, fellow American! Much like the World Cup and universal health care, it is hard for many of our countrymen to grasp just how big a deal this thing few here have heard of or care about has become outside our borders, and how popular it really is.

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I have yet to encounter a Eurovision song I didn’t deeply hate before hearing it the first time.

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I download the British simulcast after it airs.

Because I love British people making fun of other Europeans, and they frequently have Graham Norton as commentator.

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Why is Boing Boing suddenly trying to sell us on crap-ass reality television? Donald Trump is already the most powerful man in the world. Do you have to come shit on every little corner that I try to hide in?

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Be kind. It did give us Volare after all.

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Seriously, this year it’s got to be Finland - try to imagine a goth strapped to a giant catherine wheel whilst the Wehrmacht’s corps-de-ballet perform semi-synchronised writhing amidst billowing clouds of dry ice.

Though Israel’s budget Bjork and chicken squawks is close behind.

And Ireland has two men dancing with one another which should create a nice scene vis-a-vis Moscow.

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Lived and worked in Stockholm for a while. I got used to seeing the hilariously awful “Dansbands” on television flogging their coked-up bizzaro mess of Disco-Country-Western (topped with cowboy hats sometimes.) None of that prepared me for the nightly barrage of craptastic pop spectaculars that seemed to take over every SVT channel during Eurovision competition season. The few performers and acts who were actually talented and entertaining always seemed to get steamrolled by the glitteriest, most un-listenable, and simply inexplicable freak-shows in the quest to represent Sweden on the big Euro stage. Someone reminded me that Abba got their start there. One can decide for themselves whether that was a good thing for civilization …or not. But during my time stuck with Swedish television I did not witness anything even close to their pop appeal.

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Reality TV offers me nothing, but don’t think Eurovision is reality tv - it’s more like a talent competition that the contestants are secretly all trying to lose.

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Lordi was peak Eurovision for me. Also, Wogan wa better than norton as the Narrator.

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That last video was worth enduring the first twelve!

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My Favorite Eurovisionary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dllo85ZSUk

You missed out Nicole and Hugo

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In Sweden (my home country) the national qualification is a major thing going on for six weeks! And, yes, it is a spectacular bonanza of tacky, bad, not so bad and once in a while genius performances. In my house it’s become a tradition to watch, comment and vote. You are usually in it for the show so the presenters and side-show acts are really important. Try it… join us… we’ve got cookies!

And whenever you’re feeling down, youtube Lasha Tumbai! It is impossible to remain glum after three minutes with tht song:).

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Johnny Logan 4ever!

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“Eurovision is the zeitgeist trapped in a novelty Christmas ornament.”

What a great description.

One of my favourite Eurovision tangents is the Song for Eurotrash.

Sinéad O’Connor and Terry Hall do a great version of “All Kinds of Everything” @ 23:30
The glorious Kenickie cover “Save All Your Kisses For Me” @ 33:10
Topping it off @ 43:00 with Shane MacGowan and The Popes covering “What’s Another Year”

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The perfect Eurovision song.

It’s been way too long since I had a Eurovision party. We get on our most brightly coloured clothes, an abundance of food and glow sticks galore. We even print up thumbs up/thumbs down signs to display how we feel about each song. It’s glorious.

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I’ve got the album somewhere

@TheGreatParis

And that too, it was on Gin Soaked Boy by The Divine Comedy.

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Link? I tried looking it up, but I don’t think this matches your description

Full disclosure: I do kind of know Cat. But Space Opera is simply an amazing book, and I don’t care if saying so makes me look like shill. It keeps getting compared to HHGTTG for obvious reasons, but that really doesn’t do it justice. It has far too much of gloriously positive, humanist heart for that. I can’t recommend it enough.

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