Originally published at: Huge haul of CNN-branded Fentanyl seized in Texas | Boing Boing
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But why?
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Look at all that pure uncut news
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Do you need any more evidence of the liberal media plotting to destroy our children on Halloween? This is no coincidence! Wake up sheeple!
/s
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It stands for “Coma Nighty Night”
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Viral marketing turns dark at CNN.
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Drug dealers have their standards; they wouldn’t want to be associated with Fox or ONAN.
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I’m holding out for NPR branded fentanyl. I want a coffee mug included with my purchase.
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Cue MTG with a rant on how CNN is a fentanyl importer in 3…2…
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That’s an impressive amount of drugs. Let’s assume it’s only 10% pure, so just 4.4 pounds of active fentanyl (with god know what, maybe fun dip, as filler). That’s around 2 million milligrams of fentanyl. A typical dose of fentanyl (pure, from the hospital pharmacy) is between 50 and 100 micrograms (equivalent to about 5-10mg morphine IV or 15-30mg hydrocodone PO). Using the 100mcg dose, this haul is around 20 million doses of the stuff. Obviously, it’s many, many more doses if the actual purity is higher.
See why it’s so easy for folks to OD on it? The shit is bad news.
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At this point I would not be surprised to find out that the CNN print job was a custom packaging order from Greg Abbott himself.
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CUSTOMER: My good man, would you happen to have any of the CNN-branded fentanyl?
DEALER: Ah, sir, I only have unbranded fentanyl at present.
CUSTOMER: Why then, I’m afraid I shaln’t be wanting any fentanyl after all.
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Maths are hard!
The DEA defines “lethal dose” as 2 milligrams.
44 pounds is 10 million lethal doses. Thus (this is the tricky bit)
$1,036,000 (danger drugs stated value)
%
10,000,000 “lethal doses” *DEA source **tolerance
$.10 Yield per fatality
Yes maths are hard unless compared to hard drugs, then, math seems easy. This is how people get the figures right but broader reality wrong, no?
Beware of trolls ahead…
Is this how killer cops sleep at night? "I saved 10 million lives so if I snuff out one or two I am still a “good guy!”
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Louis Tully wouldn’t be that picky…
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Maybe the dealers told the driver the bricks were props for a news documentary?
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Nah, you want the tote bag. How else are you going to carry all that fentanyl?
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But what does the “CNN” on the fentanyl stand for?
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This is, like, the drugs on war, dude.
