Human corpse in street turns out to be brisket

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No less a crime. What a waste of a tender, mouth-watering cut of meat.

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He wasn’t just a brisket, he was a man and he had a name. His name was Robert Paulson

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“It looked like a torso” is not spectacularly wrong, is it? Part of one, at least.

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What kind of animal would leave that in the street?

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Probably those pesky Brisket Liberation Front folks.

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Looks like competition to my group, the Liberation Front of Brisket.

You should have seen their crack suicide squad.

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What I want to see is Sheriff Fife’s opinion on this travesty…

Splitters!

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I’m just so pleased to see that the police didn’t taze/shoot/pepper spray the poor thing.

Can’t we all be a little happy about that?

(a damn shame about wasting a brisket, though…)

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Ah. I was a little worried it was the brisket of Dunkin’ Donuts’ Nigel Travis - roadkill before we had a chance to get Schwartz’s smoked meat recipe.

A little pepper spray would have gone a long way toward covering up that lying in the road taste…

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