This time thieves grabbed 20 briskets from a famed Austin BBQ

Originally published at: This time thieves grabbed 20 briskets from a famed Austin BBQ | Boing Boing

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This place is 4 blocks from my house, and I can confirm the brisket is delicious.

The impact of the theft must be so much greater than the cost of the brisket alone. You can’t exactly catch up on slow-smoking; so that means closing early, and losing all of the revenue from the sides and drinks, AND reduced hours for staff.

All in all, it’s a terribly shitty thing to do.

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Yeah, the value would be all the sales lost the next day. You can’t just make more for that day. :confused:

Maybe hire a guy to watch it at night?

Comes in the morning, finds guard in a meat induced coma covered in BBQ sauce muttering, “Couldn’t resist the meats… too much meats.”

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Reminds me of the end one of those darker Loony Tunes cartoons, Chow Hound:

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Time thieves! Oh, never-mind.

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It seems like this sort of thief would be incredibly easy to track down… I mean, how does one unload 20 briskets without being suspicious?

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One of the all-time greats. My family and I quote this one to this day.

“What? No gravy?!?”

“Acres and acres of meat! And it’s all mine!”

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It’s worse than that. By interrupting the cook, the theif has functionally ruined the briskets. You can’t just smoke a brisket partway, then finish it later. The result will either resemble sinew or leather, depending on how they try to finish the cook.

But not with aluminum foil!

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This seems like a fairly easy crime to deter. If this is such an inconvenience, then you post a paid security guard to watch over the meat, and pass the extra cost onto the customer.

Once people complain, explain why you’re doing it, and then tap into that rich vein of Texas Vigilante Pride and say that if the culprits are caught and brought to justice, the “security tax” goes away.

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That last scene is probably why the cartoon was taken out of circulation for television. The whole thing is a delicious festival of sadism.

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…but at the same time, provides me with the perfect quote for Thanksgiving dinner

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You have not had BBQ if you haven’t had Austin brisket. Straight up.

The hell are you going to do with 20 full brisket custs though? That’s a mountain of meat.

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I recently (re)discovered brisket when my daughter came home from college and got a job at a local TX BBQ place. Yes, please!

I guess some folks see that as a challenge! :wink:

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You’re going to set up a smoker in some parking lot, probably next to a church, get a few folding tables and have a “fund raiser” for a nonexistent cause. $6.00/plate will bring the crowd. As my zaidie used to say “what you get for free you can afford to sell a little cheaper” (he owned a junk yard)

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And that’s terrible.

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Jokes on them, then. I don’t know of any way to recover half-smoked brisket. :nauseated_face:

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