Human-face door knocker comes to life

It was completely real. “Noel Feilding’s Luxury Comedy” on the other hand was not real.

The wife can do that without lying. Me I am unwashed heathen and I like to have fun with it when I can.
Maybe a large ornate crucifix? Though I always found them depressing. I get the symbolism and all but depressing.

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Or worse:

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“REMOVE YOURSELF FROM MY VERANDA!!”

Much classier than “GET OFF MY LAWN!!”

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“I’m a gonna wrap myself in paper,
I’m a gonna dab myself with glue,
Stick some stamps on top of my head,
I’m gonna mail myself to you.”

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First thing that I would have done on coming up to that door is give that unbelievable looking door knocker a good poke. I’ve been to a heck of a lot of doors, and that thang just does not belong! That’s the first clue that this whole shazzle was acted, IMO.

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